Enough kids, no matter how many I have

On my walk with friends yesterday, one of them brought up the subject of people who have too many kids. She said that it seemed that people who have more than 6 have a house that's always trashed, kids that slip through the consequence cracks all the time, and a general disregard for their space.

I think that this would be the case no matter how many kids you have, depending on the temperament of the children and parents, how much personal time those parents must have (even at the expense of the home or kids), how organized and consistent the parents are, and how much time and effort is invested in training each child to care for themselves and their space.

I love having two older kids (well, "older", you know) who can help me be consistent with the little one concerning the rules. In some ways they make better police than I do, which sometimes leads me to tell them to ease up on her.

I knew of at least two families growing up that had more than 6 kids that seemed to do alright in the "raising responsible, happy people" department. I don't know what one family did to make that happen, but the other family has shared their secrets over time since the sheer number of kids they have (10!) has led to a lot of incredulous "how do you do it?!?" type questions. They simply had to run things in slightly unorthodox ways. For instance, all of the laundry happened in the basement. Each person had a drawer (or set of drawers?) along with space on a hanger rod where their clothes were kept. They all changed clothes down there (not at the same time or without a curtain, I'm sure!!) so all of the clothes were kept in one place unless they were being worn. This allowed for greater ease of gathering and sorting, washing, folding, and immediately putting away all of the clothes. She also spent a lot of effort teaching each of them how to pull their weight so that all of the tasks that seem to grow exponentially with the addition of each child were not so breathtakingly burdensome to the parents themselves.

The dad was able to keep working, mom was able to stay home and care for kids, each was able to hold and preform well in church callings, and their kids are turning out alright.

Makes me tired just thinking about it.

There are days when three is so enough that I can't even express myself. Days when I put them to bed, close their door, and stand in the hall just shaking for a moment before I can get back to either some down time or pulling the house back together.

Then there are other days, like this past Sunday, when I put an old blanket on the grass outside the church and enjoy a picnic while Man sings in the choir. We all eat apples and sandwiches and walk around before heading inside for drinks and potty before the meeting starts. It's peaceful, they share, they all make sure that Pebbles doesn't toddle off to the parking lot, we laugh, Princess tells some of her outlandish stories, Tag talks about how he's going to grow up to be a boy grandma and his grandkids will call him Charlie, and it really feels like home. Even though we're not in the house we live in.

It's too easy to lose sight of my priorities now vs. the time I'll have later when they won't need quite so much.

I'm still overwhelmed by the prospect of having a fourth child. I've heard a heart beat and I've felt little Frodo move a bit, and then I think of another two loads of laundry a week, and another piece of chicken that needs to go into the pot, another little person to bash his teeth into the pavement, more nightmares to sooth at night. And more baby smiles, toddler kisses and hugs, temper tantrums, first teeth, words, and steps.

I feel like I'm struggling to make my heart larger to accommodate yet another precious person in my life, and I just need to remember that as soon as I plant eyes on that little person I'll find that extra room an effortless thing to make. Heck yeah we have a large family. I'll have four kids at the age of 25 and Princess won't be quite 6.

But here I've been typing when I really need to do just about everything. Thank goodness I have such great kids who are willing to help so much. And a husband who is also willing to help when he can and is always available for hugs for everyone in the house. I'm so very proud of him.




(the kids have suggested names for the new baby: Edo (eed-oh) and Bingohd. Um, yeah)