Wednesday, May 30, 2007

My side of a debate

The Secret:

You think, therefore all* is. (Thank you, to butcher a quote from Robin Williams in Baron Munchausen)

A realist:

You think ahead, therefore you have savings, retirement funds, and food storage.

I agree that positive thinking can very much shape the world around you. You can give such beautiful things to those you meet, craft your home or office into something you truly love, and engage in activities that help you feel fulfilled.

But I don't agree that "if you think it, it will come." Psychology tells us that humans tend to have less value for the things that come for free.

Here is an interesting article on how humans might value -- I take it with a grain of salt and freely admit that the article doesn't explicitly support my point, but it does broaden my perspective of how we come to value things in different ways.

Here's an example: I know a lady (waves to lady) who is very good at finding the kind of parking spot she wants. She visualizes the characteristics of the spot she wants then drives around and usually finds it. But here are some points of interest:

1 -- She drives around to find it. She doesn't just wait for one to appear or to be built beneath her while she waits and enjoys the "fact" of the parking spot she wants.

2 -- If she doesn't find what she wants, it doesn't stop her from reaching the real goal of the outing and it doesn't make her late to her appointment. She could have a battle of wills with the universe, a sort of game of chicken if you will, telling it that she won't park until she gets what she wants.

3 -- Despite the above, she doesn't change her ideas of what she wants based on what's available because she doesn't need to. She still acknowledges what her preference is, acknowledges the reality of the situation, discerns what she does or does not have control over, changes what she can and then gets over it. Refusing an opportunity because one or two exact points of desire aren't met is absolutely ridiculous. So what if the ferrari you saved for isn't the blue you wanted? Save some more money and make it blue!! Or learn to love yellow. Or get over the fact that there is not one single tree or large truck to park next to, go ahead and park, put those reflective thingys in your front and rear windows (which you, the pessmist, bought and brought with you!) and go have some fun! Besides, what if you visualize yourself a ferrari but you "only" end up with a mustang GT? Would that ruin your life?

I'm glad that this nice lady who has a talent for finding parking spots has taught me to find out what I want before I go out looking for it. And... along the way, I might find something better than I had imagined. Like a mustang. :)

Please comment! Discuss!

*As I was going to sleep last night, I thought of some adjustments that I needed to make.

Also, thought it was interesting to note that a lady wrote in to Oprah letting her know that once she read The Secret, that she would be discontinuing her chemo for breast cancer so she could focus on healing herself with her mind. Oprah then begged her on television to resume treatments. No word yet on how that's turning out.

Pacifier, Day 1

Last night little Pebbles went to bed without a pacifier. She sort of moaned on and off for an hour or so, but after that slept through the night as peaceful as could be. We, on the other hand, were up every few hours what with Man and his Man-sized cold. Today she's a bit grumpier but seems to be dealing very well with the new arrangement. I'm sooooo glad that it's pretty painless so far.

Griping

Ok, who thinks that Memorial Day is a gov't holiday? ::raises hand::

Who here thinks that the trash employees had a day off on Monday? Ooo, ooo!! ::raises hand higher::

Now, stay with me here. Who thinks that, because of that day off, that trash day would be delayed by a day because this is the precedent that has been set over the past 6 months? Me, me!

Who didn't put their trash out this morning, because those garbage men were SUPPOSED to come tomorrow? ::crickets, then meekly is the only person in the room to raise her hand:: That'd be me.

No one put their trash out last night. No one! So I went to sleep confident in the fact that trash day would be delayed one day because of that lovely lemming mentality and the fact that I didn't want to dig through a file and find the phone number for the trash company. This morning I was just getting done with my shower when the recycling truck cruises by and boy, that man has very little work to do this week. Come to find out, my sneaky neighbors put their trash out either after 9:30 last night or very early this morning because, o-ho!, they knew the trash truck really would be coming and decided to pull a fast one on the lazy lemming people. I was too recently showered to be presentable, if you know what I mean, so I had to quickly throw clothes on and rush my trash can out to the curb. Now I have three weeks of recycling that I'm going to have to ration out over the next few weeks so they take it all. Methinks it's time to get an additional recycling bin. I never have enough room with the one anyway. ::grumble, grumble::

Tuesday, May 29, 2007

The Binky Plunge

Well, it's time for Pebbles' next major milestone. She's almost 16 months old so I know that it's high time it happened. Recent milestones: Walking (at long last!!), she now has about 10 words down with occasional parroting thrown in, only four more teeth to make the full set, and other cute little "big girl" mannerisms that pop up every now and then.

So, we decided that today would be the end of all pacifiers. It's for the best, really. All of the good that comes from the weaning is known to most of us, but it doesn't change one simple fact: my baby is growing up!! I've said that about each of the kids in turn. I've been noticing how mature Tag is starting to look. He's long and lanky, wirey and coordinated. He still dances and makes faces for his baby sister and kisses his dear ol' mum. Princess is holding on to a few youngish traits (whining is a big one we're trying to break her of) but for the most part has one foot in adolescence.

I guess that's why God gives us grandkids. It's nice to have babies in our lives. And it's nice when they grow up too (thinking of that happy day when the young 'uns potty train).

Monday, May 28, 2007

Gardening

Now that I can do pics again, here's a whole slew.

1. My little wild rose is finally producing some really lovely blossoms. I took out the big weed since it wasn't doing anything interesting. The anal-retentive in me is a bit bothered by this messy corner of dirt, but the other half of me absolutely loves that chaotic splash of nasturshum and rose colors, especially since they're right next to some relatively orderly-looking alyssum.



2. My cilantro is looking decidedly happy. I was worried about it at first since about a week after I planted it all of the original leaves died off. Over the next week or two it started to put out a lot more bushy, vibrant leaves which has me totally thrilled. It's about three times as big as it started out. Next time I do herbs I'm definitely going to start them all in pots indoors and move them outside when they look happy, especially if I grow them from seed.



3. My tomatoes and dill. I need to get some stakes and string (or would cheap yarn work as well?) 'cause these bad boys are getting tall enough to need help. And the dill that looks like little tufts of grass between the middle and right plants is the only herb that I successfully grew from seed outside. I don't take pride in that, though, since it's technically a "weed", but I'm very excited. Fresh herbs are among my favorite treats in life. I also have a little tiny pot of chives in my kitchen that's doing pretty well.



4. My lovely assistant and gardener in training. This little one has no qualms about getting down and dirty with her gardening. I'm thinking that next year, depending on where we are, I'll let Princess have her own spot of ground since she's so interested in helping with everything this year. It'll be interesting to see what she wants to grow.



5. My peas and squash finally came up. The peas, once they started showing, are really growing very quickly. I need to stake and string them as well. I have four mounds of squash but am thinking of taking it down to the two healthiest looking mounds since we all know how much squash can come off of one plant. My friend M says she knew someone who would always say that when you're parked at an LDS church in the summer or fall, never leave your doors unlocked b/c they'll put heaps of squash into any car they find unlocked. I've never had that experience, but when living at my Mother In Law's house I knew that I had a hard time using/giving it all away that one summer. I froze a lot of zucchini puree.


Next year I also want to add peppers, onions, and garlic in the back of the house where we get a ton of sun, or maybe put them where the nasturshum has taken over. I really hope I can plant at our next home as well.

Sunday, May 27, 2007

Felt Bento Box

I love the idea of these Bento Boxes. (wikipedia link)

What a fun lunch with tons of variety.

Craftster has craft challenges every now and then which turn up some really crazy works of art. The most recent one was to create something out of felt. The winner was a felt Japanese Bento Box, including several food items made entirely of felt. (link)

The other entry that I thought was pretty amazing was the picnic, complete with woven basket and sprinkles on the cookie. (link)

pics

Princess taking a nap on the couch. She fell asleep like this but later went to bed for a few hours.



Playing dress up, county fair style. When they started feeling better they got some sheets out and started to play with them.




pics

Man helped me dress Pebbles yesterday. I had a bunch of folded laundry on the couch so he picked a couple of items apparently at random. This is what she thought of her outfit:


Just kidding. She didn't care at all, and Man seemed a little hurt that I laughed at the "outfit". He said something about being sorry, he just wasn't up on current fashion trends so couldn't see anything wrong with what she was wearing. lol I didn't say that it doesn't take being up on fashion trends to appreciate why this is a funny looking pairing. I thanked him for his help and left her clothes alone.

I have found that as long as I don't use the browser with tab options, I can post photos again. I'll have to dig through and see if I missed anything.

School pictures -- time for a tan!

Anyone seen this yet?

Link to Slate article.

I like the description: superlatively vapid. That's like "ponderously empty".

So who here is shocked that someone in Hollywood would get their elementary-aged child a $1,300 tan for her school pictures? I was. I was also shocked when Mark Anthony bought J-Lo those gold flipflops for $24,000, shocked that celebs pay at least $200 on a single silk baby blanket for newborns (I can't even tell you how often my receiving blankets go through the wash before a baby is 6 months old)

I just have to laugh. Even though I "know" I'd spend it differently, I know for sure that everyone I know has their own ideas of what's important to them. Some people skimp on the food budget and have a closet full of shoes or clothes; some people have one or two pairs of shoes and travel at every opportunity; others have got mind-blowing entertainment systems and a car that runs half the time.

What do you skimp or splurge on? My splurge was a high-efficiency clothes washer. What would I do without it? Man's splurge was a Wii and accessories. It's funny how I rarely spend money of myself but my junk always costs so much more. I would argue that a clothes washer or a van aren't my own personal goodies, but they sure make my life easier.

Saturday, May 26, 2007

Memorial Day weekend

We were all set and ready to go visit Grandma this weekend but woke up the morning of our scheduled trek to find Princess in the midst of being ill. She spent half the day sleeping and couldn't keep anything down at all. Today she's doing better but still not keeping anything but water down. Tag got it this morning but is in a stubborn denial that he's sick despite repeatedly losing his stomach and having a fever of 104°. Ibuprofen is helping with the fever but he keeps insisting that he wants to eat chips and salsa and he doesn't need to carry his bucket around with him. We tried letting him leave the bucket two feet away from him and... well, it wasn't pretty. I can't believe this stubborn illusion he's putting himself under. Despite his own personal, abundantly clear evidence that he's ill.

When I was a kid I'd milk it for all it was worth. Sleeping on the couch, popsicles, soda, tv all day long. Man recalls that when he was young that being sick at his house had no special benefits. You either went to school anyway, or you got to stay home exclusively in bed and swallow home remedies. We're taking a middling approach, having them stay in bed except for when we have attempts at liquids. They are also allowed to get up after a longish nap and catch some tv but not all day long. When they're this young it's hard to keep them down for long even in this state.

Thankfully, Pebbles hasn't gotten it yet. She's the one who doesn't know how to make it to the bucket yet. Tomorrow we also get to do Sharing Time for our class but Man is going to go do it by himself. Some of you may recall when I got to do it a couple of months ago with a crying baby and a Tag who refused to go to class (I couldn't take him out to the car since I had a class to teach) and I hadn't prepared a single thing for it. It was a fiasco. This time I'm keeping the two sickies and the (knock on wood) not-sicky home while he goes and has his fun.

I guess that's what I get for putting them in child care this week. Oh, well. It isn't killing them. Hopefully it's making them stronger.

Friday, May 25, 2007

Adding a merit badge

Well, I went and done it. I'm really an instructor now! I passed my presentation, got yet another certificate of completion (only one left to go now! level 3) and I'm signed up to teach classes in a couple of months. The first two are basic problem solving and time management. They're pretty easy classes to teach so I thought I'd start off easy.

I'm glad that I have this opportunity. It helps me feel good about contributing to a program that has helped me so much, and it's also a manageable commitment. Gosh it feels weird to get back into the public speaking circuit.

Thursday, May 24, 2007

Fictional figures

We aren't doing Santa or tooth fairies with our kids, and this is my explanation why from a different website:

At a young age, children have a hard time telling the difference between reality and fantasy. I don't want to set a precedent with them that the things I tell them about, the things that make them excited, the things they really do look forward to... aren't real. At that age they can't tell the difference between the wonderful feelings of Santa or finding money under their pillows and the real rewards of service and accomplishment. We all have to have something to dream about and work to achieve and it's good to keep hope alive and even learn about traditions and myths. Telling the difference is certainly something that can and must be taught, but why make it harder at first? And why set them up for the disappointment of that first time they learn that Santa isn't real? The whole point of hoping and believing and having faith is that we hold on the truth and the things that matter most and are absolutely real: love, honor, integrity. It doesn't seem like a huge deal to some, but to others it can really have an impact on whether they believe their parents for a few years. I don't know how my kids are going to react, so we just don't do it. That trust is too important to me to blow it on a ghost.

And that's just my opinion. :)


Gosh, I sound like a total snob. Oh, well. Some thing about one of the ladies I work with that I really like is that she's spent so long in a career that she just doesn't care if people like her or her opinions anymore. She's nice, respectful, and kind but doesn't bend over backward just to get people to like her.

So... there's my snobby opinion. lol

Wednesday, May 23, 2007

Emotional resistance to change

Alright, I'm currently having an opportunity to utilize some of the tactics taught in the class "Acknowledging Change".

And, folks, I just want to say, sorry things have been moody lately. That's just the way it is right now.

I find that while I would really like to be an instructor, I just don't want to change my life to make it happen. Will it significantly change my life? No. What's the worst that could happen? I could be a bad instructor. Is it really that much of a sacrifice? Nope. It's two classes every 3 months. It's a pittance, really. So what's my problem? I'm comfortable with my current stress levels.

I'm going to do it though. I'm tired of my internal resistance to change keeping me from being an effective, contributing individual. I just finished going over my presentation for tomorrow and it timed to exactly 10 minutes (which is the goal), Man smiling and grinning the whole time, pretending to be a responsive audience. Basic problem solving!! I'll be teaching it as my maiden voyage to a "marathon" group who will have sat through the entire first level all in one Saturday. I better make it interesting!! Maybe I should bring cookies. It's the very last class of the day.

Ah, breathing is good!

So I got to sleep in for the first time in quite a while today. -sigh- Such luxury. One nice thing about being so busy is that it wears the kids out, too. I've done housecleaning today and I need to plan meals for next week, but for now I'm at my computer, sort of daydreaming out the window, watching some shiny little black birds eat my lawn and eating an avocado sliced and sprinkled with lemon juice and salt.

Man took Princess out for a date day on Monday which she absolutely loved. They hit the beach, the coolest park in town featuring a real train engine for the public to climb all over, and then lunch at a little Chinese place. Princess came home eating ice cream and full of positive energy. Today he's out with Tag in a repeat adventure. We decided to make occasional dates with Dad a priority and during his week off is the perfect time to do it. Now I just need to figure out some way to get a date with him myself. :)

Oh! And exciting news from me! My squash plants are finally poking up and looking like they're ready for life. My peas are even bigger than the squash, my tomatoes are doing great, and my cilantro is looking decidedly content. None of the herbs I planted outside have come up at all but the little potted chives in my window are doing great. I guess I need to get more pots and try again inside with the other stuff. I grow stuff! I used to get so annoyed with potted plants because I didn't have anywhere to keep them out of my way. Huzzah for window sills.

I don't know if I've posted this yet (too lazy to look) but little Miss Pebbles is as old now as Princess was when Tag was born. Both times that my younger two kids have hit that age I sort of laughed maniacally and wondered what the heck I was thinking to have them so close together. Who knows what young people think. I sure didn't.

Saturday, May 19, 2007

New eyes (again)

It was really nice yesterday to sort of see my home again through the eyes of my uncles. Those guys are so great. The location and size of our home and the growth we've experienced are all amazing blessings. It was nice to once again see clearly and be thankful for what I have. And so fun to finally show off!! The ocean view!! The park right out our back door!!

After all of those AFTB classes and being able to enjoy people I love yesterday, for the first time in a while I was able to go to sleep last night after deciding to have a peaceful heart. When they rolled into town I was still in such a whirl from the day's activities that I had a hard time just sitting and enjoying at first. I found myself wanting the old comforting elements that I associate with that side of the family: a cross word puzzle, a clean home, peach cake, a home cooked meal. I flaked out and didn't cook (sorry, guys!) for a number of reasons, but Uncle J provided a wonderful meal of Round Table pizza (thanks, Uncle J! the leftovers were delightful as well), I didn't have the cross word puzzle, and even if I couldn't always think of ways to keep the talk comfortable and flowing the kids sure managed to fill in any and all gaps. Once again I've learned more about what home really is. I havn't given myself a whole lot of time to miss my family that lives far from me now, but I found yesterday that I didn't have to. That love and care is so important to me and my uncles brought it with them in bushels... even if my house isn't my granparents' house. :) I'm feeling happier with what I have to offer, regardless of how it compares, simply because it's mine.

Ah, this miraculous sense of self is finally starting to make a little more sense to me now. I'm starting to find more of a direction for my precious personal resources and a happier center of identity. Silly how joining the military has done so much for us. I never imagined that a step that looked so ridiculously risky could offer so much return.

Thanks for visiting guys. Come on over any time!

Oh what a week!

Three whole days of AFTB classes, a Wednesday full of trying to get the house into recovery, and Man eagerly anticipating this coming week of vacation. I came home on Thursday to find that he had done all the dishes, put all the laundry through, and was cleaning the rest of the place. It was his late Mother's Day gift. :) Boy, that Man got a mighty thank you from me. I left the kids at the child care center so he and I could have some time together. It was our first "date" in quite a while.

Two of my uncles came for a visit last night. I don't know if they were prepared for the onslaught of kids asking for their attention but they handled it like champs. At one point Tag even asked if one uncle wanted to watch him demonstrate how one turns the light one and off in a bedroom (a simple up and down switch) and the answer was "Yes!!" Both of them won the hearts of the natives.

Yesterday, when I went to pick the kids up from child care one of the ladies told me that she had the following conversation with Tag (there are two ladies who usually work the hourly care and they are both African American)

Tag: You're pretty!
S: Thank you!
T: You have pretty eyes.
S: Thank you very much!
T: Your skin is brown.
S: Yes, it is.
T: I'm white.
S: Yes, you are.
D: What color am I?
T: You're white, like me.

They had a huge laugh over that one. Miss D is just as dark as Miss S.

Thursday, May 17, 2007

Time off

Man gets a few days off next week. Today is a half day. I asked him what he was going to do after he came home, when we still had 2-3 hours before we come home from our outing.

"Take a nap."

We have a few fun things planned, but mostly he wants to relax. So do I. It'll be interesting to see exactly how much relaxation does happen when the daily home grind is still in full force.

Tuesday, May 15, 2007

Snacking

The AFTB classes are great, but those otherwise nice, smart people put baskets of candy around the conference tables. There it is, just sitting there. And I can't resist the Smarties. Today we ended up with one overflowing basket of candy PER PERSON since it was a small class.

Thursday's strategy: Give my basket of candy to M (ha!) or put it over by the director (who's on a diet, maybe that'll send a message) and take some almonds with me to munch on. And some grapes. Maybe even some Clementine oranges.

There. My plan is in writing for the world to see. I will be strong!!

Left over skin flint

There are times when I throw the leftovers out, even if they are perfectly good and might be incorporated into something else later on, like the small pile of roasted onions and peppers from last night's fajitas, the 1/4 of dried-up cheese from the burritos, or the one or two spoonfuls of steamed corn. Sometimes, though, if I'm already putting the leftovers away, I'll look to see if the kids ate their food and, if it's completely untouched, I'll add that to the tupperware bowl. Does that make me gross or a hypocrite? Tonight I put spaghetti and sauce on Tag's plate, cut it up for him, and he didn't even breathe on it. So I scooped it in with the rest from the pots and am looking forward to one of my fav lunches tomorrow.

I don't know why, but I have a hard time using some leftovers before they start to look really gross. Those few peppers and onions which would have been delicious in a quesadilla, the dried up cheese that could have gone into some beans and rice, etc. Perhaps that can be this month's goal: When cleaning up from dinner, jot down an idea or two to salvage the leftovers and see if my meals will go further. Very rarely do I have any meat go to waste, though.

AFTB Level 2

The first level focused quite a bit on the military, its workings, and how to move around and get things done within it. The second level is dealing a lot with the self, including such topics today as communication, understanding and working with different personality types, time management, and acknowledging change.

It's interesting that now that we're getting into very personal topics that some of us are having a hard time listening to and really getting involved in them. While the topic of acknowledging change wasn't a difficult one for me to hear and understand, it is a topic that can be very emotional for me. We talked about some of the changes we've experienced and the basic barriers and secrets to success that we can identify and work with when change is actually occurring. The teacher passed out pennies to everyone and we all had to talk about a change that happened in the year that the pennies were minted. I got 2006. I only listed four things (the birth of our third child, Man joining the military, and two moves) but it was enough to give a very basic idea of what sort of year that was.

The lady who sat next to me (not you, M) said that the class on understanding and dealing with different personality types was a very difficult class for her. Yet another young mom had a hard time dealing with the communication class. It was really neat to watch a smallish group of people share really deep and special parts of who they are to contribute to these great classes.

Here are a few points that really struck me:

It was nice to go over Covey's Time Quadrant thing again. I know I've gone over it with Man a couple of times, but it's nice to remember it again after a few years.

Regarding change, A said that we could either be change masters, or change victims. It's largely determined by your willingness to obtain information and check the attitude. The four phases of change: Denial, Resistance, Exploration, and Commitment. The exploration and commitment phases are very familiar to me from couple's problem solving classes. I think it's interesting that the teacher really emphasized how important it is to celebrate successfully getting through a change, and to identify and acknowledge what things got you through it with joy. I was pleased to note to self that over the last year I have acquired great abilities to change more easily and with more joy.

Barriers to change:
-Uncertainty
-Threats of the unknown
-Feelings of loss
-Mistrust of new ideas
-Fear of failure.

Secrets of dealing successfully with change:
- Commit to success.
- View change as an opportunity
- Network, seek help from family, friends, and coworkers, and offer help to others.
- Recognize and focus on situations that you can influence and control, and let go of those you can't.
- Optimistic
- Challenge and resist pessimistic thoughts and actions that may limit your ability to succeed.

Steps to successful change:
- Recognize the need for change
- Determine goals of the change or a vision of what the change will be
- Develop a plan to implement the change
- Seek support, knowledge, or resources to improve the situation
- Follow through with the implementation of the change plan
- Evaluate the plan for future use

(these steps are also part of the basic problem solving formula)

And something I thought was odd -- a definition of "self" I havn't come across before.
Self -- from the belief of how much impact, control, or effect one has on a situation, people, and events. Based on whether one can or cannot impact, change or act on what exists.

I'm going to have to think about that.

Successful people:
1. Understand themselves and how their behavior affects others
2. Understand their reactions to other people
3. Know how to maximize what they do well
4. Have a positive attitude about themselves, which causes them to have confidence
5. Know how to adapt their behavior to meet the needs of other people.

I know that's a lot of just plain ol' course material but this self improvement stuff just fascinates me (like that stinking military alphabet). It's mostly here for my benefit and to put on paper some of the things I've been learning. A lot of this stuff is available from the school of hard knocks but it's nice to have it all clearly stated and presented in an academic setting.

Monday, May 14, 2007

Don't go breakin' my heart!

My kids love the movie Chicken Little which we rented last week. I had forgotten how easy it is to mis-hear words in songs when one is young and without much of a frame of reference. The song that is played with the credits at the end of the movie is "Don't Go Breakin' My Heart" but they've never heard that term.

The day after we watched it I heard them singing the song while playing around in the living room and startled asked them to just say what the words were.

"Uncle Greg in my heart!" Which is funny because they have a great-uncle Greg.

And they chanted it over and over again. They just love that song. I was telling Man about it yesterday but only got so far as to ask if he recalled that song from the credits before he laughed and said that during a dead silence in Sharing Time yesterday (a time when all of the kids 11 and under are in the same room) Tag just up and starts singing loudly "Uncle Greg in my heart!" over and over. He laughed even harder when I told him what their version of the lyrics are.

Saturday, May 12, 2007

Another Saturday

I worked really hard yesterday to make sure that we wouldn't have to do a whole lot today. All we had was a birthday party to go to. I took Princess out on a little date to pick something out for her friend.

The theme was Princes and Princesses. The little girl was turning 5. I thought about it and then wrote up a little itinerary for a Princess and wrapped a small gift for each item of business. A little journal, glitter nail polish, lotion, things like that. So we got it all wrapped up and numbered and in the cute flower bag. We found the invitation so we could get the address... and then I noticed that the party was yesterday. For some reason I put it on my calendar as Saturday. We were all worked up and ready to go. Princess was in a dress, everyone had their shoes on. So we went to Chipotle. lol After dropping off that gift, of course.

Mother's day is tomorrow. We're going to call our mothers, go to church, then I'm going to cook myself some good mother-lovin' food. Man will grill and I'll do all the sides and the brownie trifle.

The kids finally found the neighbor kids and mostly disappeared all day long today. That was nice. I guess I'm finally learning what it's like to have kids old enough to leave for a while. I felt anxious. Every time they came back for one thing or another I asked how things were going. They were always fine, they were always behaving. I thought about the mountain lion sightings, about Tag's tendency to get territorial, about Princess's little bout of taking the Lord's name in vain due to another child's example (really, how shocking should it be? we don't allow it, but it doesn't get me bent out of shape), and about Tag's walnut and pecan allergies. And I was glad they were playing with these friends. Why is letting go such a long and difficult process?

Other than that things are cruising along. Still enjoying the beauty of our location. Still planning on doing as little as possible next weekend. Finally realizing how busy life can get now that the kids are starting to get old enough to really truly be involved with the world outside their home. Oy.

Friday, May 11, 2007

Growing into it

This morning and kids and I were cuddling in my bed, when we started talking about various family relationships.

Princess: I know who your mom is, mom!
M: Really? Who?
P: It's Oma!

Not to be out done, Tag joined in.

T: When I get old, I'm going to grow into a dad.
M: That's right, if you want to be.
T: And Princess will grow into a mom.
M: That's right, if she wants to be.
P: And when I'm a mom, you'll grow into a grandma!
T: And I'll be a dad, and Princess will be a mom, and you'll be a grandma, and dad will grow into a little kid!
M: What? Won't he be a grandpa?
T: Nope. He'll just grow into a little kid.

Telling Man about that later in the day when he came home for lunch, he shook his head and wondered if he should be worried about that.

Thursday, May 10, 2007

Answering the door in pajamas.

I sometimes get caught up in taking care of kids and household business before I'm showered and dressed. I know, kind of backwards, which waking up an extra 15 mins early would fix but, whatever. This morning I was... um, not prepared to receive company when the door bell rang.

What do you do when you're in your pj's and you have no idea who's at the door, but you do know that s/he can hear your footsteps? So, you can go check and see who it is, but you can't walk away without that person knowing someone's home.

Thankfully, it was a contractor coming to do some OUTdoor repairs, so I poked my head around the door, hiding the rest of me, spoke with him briefly, then ran to get presentable.

Ok, ok. Lesson learned. I used to wake up at 0530 for some meditation time before the kids wake up, but it didn't last very long. I'm far more of a night person.

Are any of you morning people? Have you always been or is it something you've had to work for?

Wednesday, May 09, 2007

Miss Speak

Princess was trying to explain something to me today. For the life of me, I had no idea what she was trying to say. The third time that I told her I couldn't understand she huffed and said:

"I don't know what I mean but I know what I say!"

Ah! That explains everything. lol

pics

Mr Tag on the trampoline.
I admit the kids like to do acrobatics with the bar more than they like to plain ol' jump on it. But even Pebbles jumps on it every now and then.

On his scooter.
I told him to smile. He said he was. In his defense, he was squinting into the sun.

All of his new shorts are dirty at the moment and we can't find his harmonica. I'm sure it's in their bedroom somewhere though.

Military alphabet

As per request. Ok, let's see if I can do it from memory:

Alpha
Bravo
Charlie
Delta
Echo
Foxtrot
Golf
Hotel
India
Juliet
Kilo
Lima
Mike
November
Oscar
Papa
Quebec
Romeo
Sierra
Tango
Uniform
Victor
Whiskey
Xray
Y... Yankee?
Zulu (though one person swears it's Zebra)

[looks it up] Yep, it's Yankee.

New van!

The loan check came yesterday so off we ran to get our van as soon as Man came home from work. It took a while since he believes in reading the entire contract before putting ink to paper, and then we switched the car seats so we could drop off the rental on our way home. It's fun to play with all of the buttons. There are moon roof buttons, buttons for the rear windows (electric rear van windows!) front and rear climate control, a clock that also displays the temperature, something like three glove compartments, no fewer than *6* cupholders up in front and more in the back, a cd/tape deck, a 20 gallon gas tank (ack!!), rather smaller storage behind the back seats than I wanted but we're going to take one of the middle captain seats out for now to make more room for stuff. The kids are over the moon with this thing since they get to sit all the way in the back, have their own window buttons, and climate vents to point whichever way they want.

Now how am I going to remember which car is mine?

Tuesday, May 08, 2007

More phone

So I was on the phone with yet another bodiless insurance voice yesterday to get an address. His was the sort of male tenor that is really hard to hear over the phone so I had him spell the city.

"Foxtrot, Romeo, Echo..." Then he paused. "D, E, R..."

"Wait, I didn't quite catch that. You mean Delta, Echo, Romeo?"

"Yep. India, Charlie, Kilo, Sierra, Bravo, Uniform, Romeo, Golf."

Ah, yes, there are diverse times and places when that silly military alphabet comes in handy. My brother says I'm just showing off when I spell like that. I have a sort of bizarre fascination with it. I can never remember V or W though. I talked to Man about giving our kids nicknames since they don't have any. We could just call them by their first initial using the military alphabet. He didn't like that idea. I thought it was hilarious.

That would make my brother Romeo. :D What would Freud think?

Morning conversation

Tag: You have a cute Tag, mom.
Me: That's for sure. I have a cute Princess, too.
Princess: I'm not cute!
Me: Ok, I have a beautiful Princess.
P: Ok, that'll work.

Little Pebbles is almost a full time walker now. She really got into it when I started to put the garden in b/c she hates to crawl outside. After several hours of walking around outside she just started to prefer it. Same thing at church -- she hates to crawl in a dress, so walks instead.

I wonder what it feels like to get the hang of walking for the first time. I wonder if how she sees her world has changed now that she gets around 12 inches above where she used to.

Monday, May 07, 2007

Mother's Day

I started posting before Mother's Day of last year even though those posts are tucked away in a word file. There are more posts than I wanted to edit for names and locations so I just stripped my old blog and made this one.

I remember posting a pic of a napkin rose that Man gave me. Last year was so different. Has it really been a year? I remember that I started blogging right before we decided to go military, when Pebbles was still a wee little thing. Last year we didn't know where we were going to live, with what money or job, and our car needed some major repairs. This year we have a home, in the process of getting a good car, we have a direction, and Man is on his way to getting a degree. In fact, we just have to do some paper work, write a largish check, and a university will hand him one just based on his formidable list of credits completed.

Amazing how life takes such wild turns.

Justice or Mercy?

In my quest for creative parenting solutions, I'm often struck with the realization that my kids aren't stupid.

The older two were throwing dirt at each other so they had to clean up and come in for time out. I decided that rather than letting them just sit there while I cleaned that they could have jobs instead. Tag said he didn't want jobs, he just wanted to be in time out. Haha. Like I'm going to let the little convict sit there and watch me clean. So, I told him that he could either help Princess and me clean or he could be in time out for twice as long as it took us to clean (it took more words and demonstrations to show him what this meant, but he got the idea). He decided to stay in time out. So, I set the timer and Princess and I set to work. Things were about half way done when he decided he wanted to help after all.

Ok, so he wants to help after the worst of it is over? Is that like picking the winning team? He doesn't like sitting in one place for very long so I knew the time out wasn't a treat, but he basically decided to show up at the party after all the set up was done.

Justice says that I should have let him rot in prison. Mercy says that I should let him out, give him a portion of work, and then give him time off for good behavior.

I got sneaky. I said ok, then called him into the kitchen which he couldn't see and gave him jobs in there. He ended up doing his share, but what if I didn't have a heap of recycling that needed to get sorted? Or toys here and there that needed to be gathered and put away? We tend to get a pretty messy house over the weekend and we had to run a ton of errands this morning. So now I have a mostly clean house and a heap of laundry that needs to be folded and put away.

Shakespearian Insults

Are you tired of the same ol' insults that have long since lost their shock value? Try insulting the Shakespeare way and you're guaranteed to get a shocked look if not a laugh and a new friend.

So go clean thine ears, thou tardy-gaited, knotty-pated, fustilarian.

http://petelevin.com/shakespeare.htm

Sunday, May 06, 2007

pic links

Picture links
Here are a few picture links:

On Tag's birthday, he proved the old saying true: give a kid a new toy, he'll play with the box.

These are my strange, unidentified flowers.

Princess making a necklace at the carnival. She made the pattern all on her own.

Tag and his friend are so affectionate, that I something think "gosh, get a room guys." They are always hugging and holding hands. I thought this was a cute picture.

More pics forthcoming.

What a Saturday

Ever since we got here, all of our Saturdays have become "get stuff done that we can't do without two adults" day. Man would really like Saturdays to become "let's to nothing at all today b/c even on Sunday we have responsibilities" day. Every weekend we kind of collapse at the end and tell ourselves that we won't make any plans for the following weekend. Just a park, or the beach, maybe a quick shopping trip for provisions for the coming week if I don't manage to get out and do it with three kids in tow.

Yesterday we got a fairly late start since I'm just so tired lately. I managed to make a nice big pancake breakfast with bacon which roused Man out of bed (I love waking people up with good food smells) and we all sort of puttered around trying to get ready to go on our various errands. Man cleaned out the little car from his ruck march (tons of equipment to haul back into the house) while I got kids dressed. We parted ways, me taking the kids up to a post-wide yard sale (it's like a HUGE flea market! pretty cool idea since we aren't allowed to have sales by our homes) and Man went to get his car washed to support the Army carwash, clean out our old Sable, and test drive a few vehicles. Tag found all sorts of toys he wanted to bring home with him but the only purchase we made was a new bedspread for Princess. Her old one is looking really worn and limp nowadays from so much use.

Man called to talk about a couple of finds, a Honda Odessy (my dream van) which was going for $17,000 and the dealer said he could take some off for us, seeing as we needed a van so badly. I don't remember the details, but it had many more miles than the Kia Sedona Man found just a bit later. He had been feeling like he needed to stop at a tiny little used car lot that he passes every day on the way to work. When we got there I was surprised to see all sorts of classic cars. There were amazing old Porches, BMW's, and in the office were a couple of fantastically preserved old cars that had big signs on them that said "please don't touch". Inexplicably, they had a minivan on the lot as well. It was the sore thumb of the lot, I tell you. It's a 2003 with 93,000 miles, but still runs like a dream. I'm going to take it to a mechanic next week, hopefully tomorrow. It has all sort of extra features, including a rear windshield wiper, moon roof, two sliding doors, and bells and whistles like I never thought we'd have in a vehicle, like front and rear climate control. We found an ad for it that was $1,000 less than what it was listed for on the lot which the salesman will honor. It's well below bluebook and we feel really good about it. It's a small enough sum that we can pay a chunk out of pocket and get a very small loan with the shortest life on it and still have a very small car payment. We put a small earnest on the van to hold it.

It's so strange to be making a decision like this! It's the most money Man and I have spent together all at once and I'm surprised at how easy it was to talk to him about it and make decisions.

Our first van!!! For the love of Pete.

Friday, May 04, 2007

Oh, I forgot to mention

Goal accomplished! I now have peas, summer squash, two kinds of tomatoes, cilantro, oregano, basil, dill, and some alyssum in my little dirt patches. For some reason, blogger still won't let me post pictures. :( I'll get some posted to my photobucket account and add links.

How much of a faux pas?

My kids sometimes have a hard time getting their "her", "his", "she", "him" all straight. Tonight I was at Costco and the checker was obviously a very butch woman, complete with shaved head and lip ring. Completing the transaction she asked if my card was debit. I said "yes ma'am, I mean sir." Then I uttered an expletive in my head and hemmed and hawed for a second while she just sort of smiled and took care of business. Ugh. I feel dumb sometimes. I don't think I'm going to be as stern to my kids about getting it right in the future. Or maybe I'll be more stern. I dunno.

On the other hand, I made friends with a nice math teacher while I waited for our pizza. Gosh, that Costco pizza is cheap. Expensive relative to just about any meal I make from scratch, but a girl's gotta have a night off every now and then.

Thursday, May 03, 2007

Waiting room habits

My kids and I were obliged to wait over an hour this morning for a Dr's appt for Princess. I never knew that getting a kid registered for kindergarten is so laborious in this state!

Anyway, everyone else had to wait longer than we did and they were all nice. Very few of them spoke English so we communicated with smiles, pointing, and waves. My kids were given much attention by one lady in particular which kept them very happy, but when her turn came things settled down into the hum-drum-drone of a talk show on the tv and people speaking to each other in low voices. At one point I happened to glance around and noticed that a man on the other side of the room was tweezing his face.

I did a sort of mental double take and then had a hard time not staring for the rest of the time we were there. I've never seen anything like it in my life.

Wednesday, May 02, 2007

I'm a lefthanded gardener

I've always been comfortable using either hand for most tasks except writing (which I havn't been comfortable with in either hand), but last night while weeding I realized that ol' Lefty was doing everything while Righty just sort of held a butter knife, waiting to be needed. The soil here is so sandy that it's actually really easy to weed especially if it's been a few days since a rain.

What was I weeding? Well... nothing I had put there. I'm going over to the Self Help store today to get some tools, to the PX to get some tomatoes, beans, and herbs, and I'm a gonna plant me a salad garden. I'm gonna. Right now I have something that looks like a morning glory vine (M, correct me if I'm wrong) and a tiny, sad looking rose bush. I also found a largish weed that looked extremely healthy and leafy but as I grabbed it to toss it in the refuse pile I was suddenly struck with a burning curiosity to know what it would look like when mature. Famous last words? Who knows. It's on the side with no future veggies planting spots.

Funny how one can have more empathy for a weed and all the hard word it has put forth to be and flourish, than for those stinking gophers who put another 5 holes in my lawn last week.

Tuesday, May 01, 2007

And then life picked up more

So, I got a call yesterday to let me know that the car is, indeed, totaled. (raise your hand if you were surprised) However, he wanted to crunch more numbers but I had a sad little person right next to me and ask if he would call back later. Never did. But, at least we know for sure that we have to get a new car.

So, onward to look through consumer reports and try to figure out what exactly we want out of a vehicle. We're toying with the idea of a Kia Sedona mini van. We've got a small chunk we can put down so that the loan won't be too terrible. Man also has a bonus coming after his training is done which we can use to vastly decrease that debt later on.

-sigh- Mini van? -sigh- It seems like I'm getting older all the time. My parents managed to have 4 kids and never own a van. I have a bunch of friends (or acquaintances) who are succumbing to the minivan cult. I just hope that we don't get a van and then have to go to somewhere with tiny streets... like Europe, or China. Or astronomical gas prices!!! Like anywhere but the US.

Love and Logic saved my bacon

What do you do when someone tells you something shocking? Something so far removed from what you think you would ever do that you just can't quite think of what to say?

I have a very dear friend whose husband up and one day said he wanted a divorce. What do you do? Don't give him anything to fight about. "Ok, dear, you just go take care of that."

My own son once said he never wanted to eat again. "Ok, dear, you do that. There'll be food here if you change your mind."

Many moons ago I called my mom on Mother's Day to let her know that she would be a grandmother for the first time, and to announce my engagement to be married. She said that, no matter what, she would always love me. I've never forgotten that or let go of it.

Love and Logic. The basic principles of it are great. It teaches people to not fight against the decisions of their peers or those under their stewardship, but to gently guide and love and accept the person regardless of the decision, offering love and nourishment when the consequences seem so vast and unknowable. On the other hand, that also gives us the freedom to unabashedly celebrate their victories even when that decision seemed so grave at first. By not criticizing what someone has decided to do, you leave yourself open to genuinely love, lift, and rejoice.

There is a time to council. There is a time to say "gosh, that sure isn't what I choose to do." Or even "are you sure you're looking at this correctly?"

But when someone has already made that decision and is behind it for better or for worse... well, Love and Logic saved my bacon.

"Thank you for respecting me and our relationship such that you would share this with me. I'm glad that you feel liberated and that you have greater direction and meaning now. I'm glad that you've done this after a lot of thought and study. Please keep me updated on your journey. I love you and love hearing from you."

And that is the honest truth.