Interferance

A few weeks ago we were at a Costco, in the "out" line to get our receipt checked. Tag had the receipt and asked the nice employee if he could have a smiley face on the back. The employee smiled and said "now what do you say, young man?" Tag replied with a grin and a loud "please!!" I smiled, and was grateful that this stranger was helping to reinforce a good habit in my son.

Fast forward to this past Saturday. We were at a carnival. The theme was "celebrating the military child". I was a lot of fun but I will admit that the lines were a bit long for some of the cooler stuff. I was waiting to get some cotton candy for my kids (who have never had it before) and Tag let go of his helium-filled balloon. He was fine until he informed me that it didn't matter that he would just go get a new one. I asked if he let it go on purpose. He said yes, that he just wanted to see what would happen. I told him that since he did it on purpose that he had made his decision to chance not having a balloon anymore, and that we wouldn't get another one if he was just going to get them go. He immediately started into the theatrics and whining, which I stonewalled. I simply don't tolerate whining from my kids. He kinda sniveled a little and looked miserable. In the middle of a new whine, a volunteer came and gave him a new balloon.

I was a little put out over that. The lady behind me said that he looked happier with one, and I said "but I'm trying to teach my kids responsibility with what they have and to not whine when they don't like the consequences of their decisions. I'm upset that she would just give him what he wanted while he was whining for it."

The lady looked a bit nervous when she said that she had asked the volunteer to go get him a new balloon. I was surprised by that. She didn't apologize, I didn't justify myself to her, and I soon left the line that was taking too long so I could go look at more fun stuff than the backs of 40 heads all wanting cotton candy.

Later that weekend I thought about something I had told my mom a long time ago. That I wasn't afraid of sending my kids into the wild blue yonder of life knowing that they would come home from school and I could reinforce all of the good behaviors that we hold so dear in our home. Now I've had a chance to see first hand how different the influences and effects are on my kids and observed what their decisions are in those situations. I have to laugh at my naivete and I've learned a lesson I hope I never forget:

If I want them to be successful adults, I absolutely must be a good example, as well as learn to trust their ability to make decisions and learn.

They are at an age where they are still very new to peer influence. It's interesting to see how their personalities still hold so strong even when bits of influenced behavior leak through.

Honestly, I'm nervous. I don't want them to experience pain, disappointment, and the consequences of bad decisions. But I wouldn't have it any other way. Learn they must and will. And I'll be here to dry their tears and celebrate their successes with bells on.