April 15th

Tag knows what that means: his birthday is coming up. He can't wait!! It also means that the internet is very slow tonight with traffic from all of the people who saved their taxes until tonight, of all nights.

::throws tax party:: Dude, we do ours in January.

Ok, now here's a sensitive subject. People who can't handle controversy, close your browser now.

So I was sitting in the chapel today (yes, that sort of controversy) when the third talk comes up. I don't mind saying that there are some days when the Spirit is stronger than others. We started off decently well with a recently returned missionary who was still on spiritual fire from preaching the good news. Second talk was a lady who was trying in compare Helaman and his stripling warriors (Book of Mormon reference) to the revolutionary war and some fishermen who helped Gen. Washington cross the Delaware.

Third talk: honesty. And this guy was brave, I tell ya what. He talked about Jesus Christ and His example of perfect honesty and then he talked about a guy in Germany who hid some Jewish people in his home until he could smuggle them out of the country. When soldiers came to search his house, they asked him if he had fugitives in his home. He lied, telling them there was no one there besides himself. He was beaten and still he held to his lie and thus the people he was helping were spared. The person giving the talk said that even though we are commanded to not tell lies, that there are times when a white lie can be a good thing, as in the case of a Jewish sympathizer or when his wife asks if she looks good in an awful dress.

Now, at this point there were a lot of people looking at each other with something of confusion and awe. It is a universally known fact that this is a Sensitive Subject and saying something that might contradict the teachings of the Sermon on the Mount is a Bad Thing. To my knowledge, there are no known instances of Jesus lying at all in the Bible. Not even to save anyone. I was always taught to tell the truth even when the consequences would be dire. I even learned that one the extra hard way and ended up with a misdemeanor as a result (it's no longer on my record -- first ever offense, did some community service, bye-bye soiled record)

So what do you make of the white lie thing? Would you lie to save a life? Would you lie if it would ruin your good name to tell the truth? Would you lie to spare someone's feelings in a matter of dubious importance? Now remember, any sort of misrepresentation of reality is a lie. Any withholding of information with the intent to deceive is a lie. It's an easy thing to be asked a question and then quickly rearrange your thoughts so as to be able to express yourself in an inoffensive manner, even if you aren't being true to your honest and initial assessment of a thing.

But aren't opinions mercurial and evolutionary? Can I not change my opinion willingly and immediately in order to conform to the truth I want to be real?

I think the real lie comes when you have to change who you are and the way you see in order to make something true. When you take one lie into yourself, so many other things inside of you have to rearrange themselves around that lie so that everything else follows a logical pattern. One lie breeds many lies, and in more ways than one. Of course you need to keep up with all the lies that have to accompany the initial lie ("yes, your makeup looks great. Yes, that brand does well for you. Yes, the eyeliner is perfect, sweetie" ad infinitum) but there are also lies of perspective that force truths and clarity within the soul to mutate when you decide to embrace a lie.

I think that the young man who gave this talk has a different understanding of honesty than I do. I might lie to save a life. I hope I never have to. I don't lie to people when they ask about an appearance related issue, but I try to tell the truth with kindness. As far as my understanding and perspective are true, I try to tell the absolute truth. It is my opinion that white lies are for cowards. Many times I have been a coward. My reward has always been to be hurt, to hurt, and in some way to be diminished.

My thoughts are still a-whirl from this talk. I've had a lot of opportunities over the past couple of years to think and rethink about honesty with myself. I'm sad to say that until recently I've largely been a stranger to total intra-frankness*.

Tell me what you think about honesty.

*Yes, I know, I made that up. Use my ultra-spiffy, so expressive term in good health.