Snippets

I hate skunks. Why? Because skunks love my house. I love keeping the windows open a bit at night because I love waking up to a cold house. I'm weird. But yesterday morning I had a stuffy nose so I could occasionally catch bits of skunk-reek which were bad enough to disturb my sleep. I finally woke up enough to investigate and found that we had been "gifted" with some sort of animal kingdom chemical bomb and from triangulation, it was right in our front yard. I guess that's better than the time we got it in our little shed courtyard. Those stinkers live in the storm drains and wilderness around our neighborhood and come to visit on a regular basis. They harass the dogs that are kept out of doors at night and spray when the dogs get too loud, which makes the dogs louder. I'm normally a pacifist but there are just some animals in this world that could die and I wouldn't care too much.

I don't feel pregnant. Weird, I know, especially for going on 24 weeks or 5 months for the non-initiated. I lost the morning sickness completely at 16 weeks and whatever super sense of smell I might normally have has been totally obscured by a series of colds and that really nasty sinus infection. I can still taste, which is important for that occasional chocolate hit, but smells just don't bother me much (exception: see above). Freida still kicks all the time, I still have to dash for the bathroom, and things are feeling a bit heavier. But I'm not exceptionally emotional and I have no weird food cravings. I did buy a large jar of pickles from Costco but anyone who knew me as a kid will recall that this isn't odd. I've always tried pretty hard to not get too attached to the idea of the developing offspring with knowing all that could go wrong but I always felt, well, pregnant. There's no other way to describe it. That just isn't there this time. Maybe I'm just too dang used to being pregnant.

Man goes in for his appt today. If you happen to think of him around 12:00 pacific time, I'd appreciate any good vibes sent his way. He confessed last night that he's really nervous about this. I'm having to fight the circle my thoughts are going in as we wait for this doctor and Man's superiors to determine our fate. And I just hope and pray that we'll have health insurance long enough to get this baby born and to get me some post partum care, and to get Tag's meds, and the baby's newborn care, and then Princess' physical for 1st grade next year and Tag's 5 year old shots, and some freakin' birth control for the love of mercy, and what if we keep getting MRSA episodes? Those can be deadly if left unchecked. Yep, that's the circle my mind keeps going in. What will we do with yet another child to support if we end up right at square one? All of the circumstances that led up to joining the military will still be valid.

I'm going to go make some more zucchini bread. And I'm going to clean my house. And turn on some loud music. And maybe take my kids to that cool park again. And just live. I am not a slave to this. We've been through this before, and maybe we'll go through it again, but I am not a slave to it.