Getting everyone on board

Home organization. 

It's an organic process and one that can be elusive to those with the best of intentions.  So many blogs, stores, magazines, and tv shows are dedicated to organization and home decoration, proving our desire to consume and produce the same. 

I've got the notebook prepared, the house sectioned off into manageable chunks, and sketchy plans to put into action.  All I desire at this point is input from the spousal unit and his expertise in sorting the cord boxes.   He hates "projects" but this is a project worth doing for the peace and happiness of the whole family. 

How can we make our home relatively easy to clean and maintain? 

It's a heavy question.  More to come as we work our way from one end of it to the other.

a principal's principles.

Last week I went and had a chat with my kids' principal.  I had asked to observe Tag in class since that kid is almost totally refusing to do any work at all.  She said "sure! but we have this policy the county makes me observe.  I think it's from war time so many decades ago.  All you have to do it scribble a request in writing and I'll use my rubber stamp to approve it."   Done and done, and I went and observed my son in class.  That kid is bored out of his mind, but that's a different post.

I went back and spoke with her after my observation, asking what options we had available to us.  Can you switch teachers to one who's got, for lack of a better term, more engaging stage presence?  Can he be observed by the school psychologist to see if there's anything there that might impact him in the long term?  What study habits can I work with at home to help him see that schoolwork doesn't bite? 

She listened to my concerns and then said that one of the greatest mistakes parents make is to be afraid of allowing their children to be uncomfortable.  I was watching him with this teacher and wondering if he was bored and disinterested in her "oh, whadda widdle pweshus child who is NUMBER ONE IN MY BOOK!  Tell me how magnificent you are" routine.  This lady has got self esteem on the noodle and there's no shaking her.  I watched Tag play along with her over the top Carebear act and he was making fun of it.  I couldn't really blame him even as I told him to quit being impolite.  The principal assured me that behind that "rainbow ducky of extraordinary self worth where EVERYONE can be president some day" bit is a bulldog of a teacher who doesn't let any work slide under her radar and that if I want Tag to really be successful, I needed to leave him where he was with a teacher who wouldn't let him get away with anything.

Mostly she said (in a very kind way) that she was generally intolerant of parents who wanted to do things that made themselves comfortable, or well reflected in their child's education as opposed to advocating for the child himself.  I told her that I wasn't interested in my own image as a parent, but I was deeply concerned that this attitude would persist and he would end up being a slacker teenager who was too smart to do homework and too apathetic to care that not doing it would fail him.  She said to give him time, that the school was watching him and they already have plans A through F laid out with plans G through Z contingent upon the outcome of the observations available in A through F.  She welcomed me into the school as a volunteer as often as I wanted so I could continue to keep an eye on him and the school, welcomed my open and frequent communication with the same, and assured me that she didn't run a school that ignores any child.  Ever. 

I walked away from that meeting with hope and relief that I wasn't alone in trying to figure this child out.  I was happy that Ms. J didn't let my panic put her into a panic that might have resulted in some hasty and unwise decisions. 

Today I walked home from dropping three kids off and listened to the loud and obnoxious conversation behind me:

You see that principal over there?  I hate that woman.  You'd think a principal would be kind and nurturing but she's all business and policy and cold!  It was raining, you know not hard but it was raining and I came to the front of the building, you know with the locked doors and I knocked but she wouldn't let me in until I rang the bell and the office buzzed me in.  I said "why'd you leave me out there in the rain?" and she said "it's the policy to have people buzz in for safety" and I was like "all they do is push a button and I come right in why couldn't you have just opened the door?"  Then she sent all those poor little kids into the rain to wait for their parents instead of letting the parents come into the gym to get their kids.  Why would she make all those kids get wet?  I mean, that's cold!  Then she whined about all these parents coming to get their kids and said "why are all these parents here?  It's just a little rain, all these parents are going to make traffic so bad that someone might get hurt and it gums up the office to have everyone coming here right now, it's just a little rain!"  How cold is that?  She lets everyone get wet and then whines when they don't want to get wet.  I hate that woman.



And that's when I felt deep compassion for this principal who cares more for children than for their parents, who fights so many fights a day to see that they get the education they need and not just in math and science.  Next Friday is a volunteer orientation for parents to attend who want to volunteer at the school.  You better believe my butt will be in that seat.

Little wonders

Last Thursday, someone sent an email to my math class asking what the homework for today was.  I caught the email on Sunday night and sent one back on the off chance that three other people hadn't already done so.  Tonight, I went to class to find someone looking for me with a thank you and a gift for the one and only person to answer her plea for help.  I've got loot!  Pens and highlighters and Post-its galore!   Funny thing is, I may have been the only person in that class to truly delight in office supplies.  My appreciation was genuine and abundant. 

Funny how one little act can be so meaningful to someone struggling in a class.  I've shared 5 classes with one friend now and we're constantly getting notes from each other.  There are days when she sees that a new chapter of notes is up online and she surprises me with my own printed set.  I know what relief I feel to have that simple yet annoying and time consuming task already completed for me.  She often has to leave early to take care of her disabled child so I copy an extra set of notes for her as well.  What would we do without classmates like this?

Pay it forward, folks.  You never know how much it means.

Recipes

I would like to remind you guys about my recipe blog:

http://runningthroughmeadows.blogspot.com/

I havn't been posting much here, but the recipes are churning out now with the help of Emealz.  It's worth every penny!

How's school?   Princess seems to like it though she's feeling pretty overwhelmed by the prospect of once again attending an advanced math class, potentially picking up the violin (dare we?????), learning cursive, attending activity days with her younger youth group at church, and joining a program called Girls Rock! that our friend started at another school on post.  This program includes self esteem workshops and a fitness program culminating in a 5k race called the Turkey Trot.  I'm proud of her for tackling all of these projects!  She's packing her own lunch with an eye toward healthy living, choosing water over gatorade and apples over chips.  She's still reading quite a bit, winning an award from our post library summer reading program.  She was 2nd place out of all the readers for most pages read, at a staggering 6,700 pages!  A medal with her name has taken up residence on her desk. 

Tag.... oh, Tag.  After getting over the shock of landing in the class with the teacher who "makes everyone write a lot" has settled back into being a pleasant goofball.  He wants to do basketball this winter, so there's some scrambling involved with getting a physical right when everyone else and their cousin is getting one.  I'm hoping that some more consistent, fairly challenging physical activity will show us if his asthma is progressing or not.  At his physical we found that his right eye (the one that turns in) is doing pretty badly.  So back to ophthalmology he goes and I just pray he won't need surgery.  He has been asking for contacts though.  He might end up with them sooner than we hoped, depending on his prescription, any diagnosis, and prognosis.  sigh.

Pebbles is FINALLY in pre-K.  She had a conference last Monday followed by a staggered entry day on Thursday.  Tuesday is her first day of consistent class and she has long given up hope at going regularly.  She doesn't believe anyone when they say that soon she'll go every day.  She's making more friends at church and we're trying to get her more time with them.  She is so eager to spend time with them that she didn't want to come home even after 5.5 hours at a friend's house on my first day of classes. 

Frieda has a new hobby of stuffing toilet paper down the bathroom sink.  We've gotten pretty good at applying Drano and the plunger to that poor sink, and I'm having a hard time being firm with her without making her fear hand washing.  She is now 100% potty trained and doesn't even use one of those crazy seat adapters.  A friend watches her during my daytime classes which is an enormous relief to me.  I was terrified at the thought of leaving her with a stranger.  She has a couple of little Chihuahua's and a young son, tons of toys and a park just down the road.  She's happy to come home at the end of the day but very happy to be dropped off as well. 

My classes are going well.  I greatly like my Sociology professor who is equal parts keen observer and humorous guide.  The schedule is a little crazy but that was totally expected.  I'm still loving my new meal planning strategy (obviously, if you look at the recipe blog) and still very slowly losing weight.  Slow is ok though, as long as the scale keeps going in the right direction! 

Man continues to be kept busy at the office, continues to read whatever self help book his therapist has given him, and has acquired a very strong following of people in a game called Aion.  He is what is called an Abyss leader, or a general who plans and executes strategy to help the "good guys" win territory.  There are literally hundreds of people who look to him for leadership in this fairly complex game.  He wasn't promoted there officially, no one hired him, he just sort of naturally took that position after demonstrating a clear understanding of the rules and terrain, making successful suggestions, and slowly becoming recognized.  So, all of that keeps him pretty busy.  We havn't heard back from the medboard people yet, but we have hope that he'll be able to start an internship soon, which may actually lead to a job as a civilian.  There are no many unknowns at this point that we aren't making plans of any kind. 

So there's our craziness.  Maybe I'll get around to pics at some point as well.  ;)

Changing the way I eat

I can't call it dieting anymore. Because it needs to be a lifestyle.

I was typing out a post for my sister on Facebook but thought it bore sharing here:

[following a brief discussion of what I could eat after going in for fasting bloodwork]

Carbilicious things: potatoes, corn in any form (whole, creamed, cornmeal, cornbread), peas (canned, frozen, or split), lima beans, wheat in any form (noodles, bread, dumplings), milk, yogurt, fruit of any kind except tomatoes, beets, rice of any kind (both white and brown), any kind of sugar in any form, and cheese.

I can have these things, just 45 carbs at each meal, which is actually not bad at all. I need a min of 15 carbs per meal just to stay the sweet tempered person you know and love.

The following are things I can have without counting carbs: beans (pinto, black, garbanzo, navy), vegetables, limited amounts of winter squash, lean meats, limited amounts of nuts, tomatoes.

So, if you look on my recipe blog, you'll see some of the dinners I eat. It isn't too bad. I just have to measure out the rice -- no more than 1 cup per meal, but with a big pile of yummy veggies on top it isn't so bad. Taking a big drink of water after each meal is also helpful, as is sugar free gum.

I've lost another 4 pounds since the 17 at the nutritionist's office. My pants are getting loose. You should see what 20 pounds of fake fat look like! I was shocked at how big it is. The first few weeks were hard, but keeping things like sugar free jello (which is completely free!!!!) and sugar free gum on hand at all times, and planning out my meals make all the difference for my success. I went clothes shopping and even though I'm not going down in sizes much yet, I definitely look better. I can actually see my biceps now and I'm getting a hint of a collarbone back.

E-mealz has been a Godsend, literally. I keep cans of soup on hand for lunches for days when I don't have leftovers to fall back on, though I need to get back into making my own (cheaper, healthier, just the way I want it). We actually get 7 nights of homecooked dinners again, and it's all from scratch. Breakfast is easy with eggs and veggies, and salad with plenty of addins (including beans and eggs!) is a no brainer.

Looking back, I think insulin resistant behavior is something I've had for as long as I can remember. Or maybe I'm confusing that behavior with normal kid cravings for junk food. Who knows? I asked Ms Reed (my wonderful dietitian) whether I would always crave carbs as much as I do, given my genetic predisposition and poor health up to now. She said that, now that I know what it is my body is doing and how to anticipate and thus control my cravings, I'll be more free than I ever have been. I had banana bread for the first time in a long time a little over a month ago and it was like drugs. I felt ill and irritated and a little dizzy. I used to put myself through that every single day.

I can't say that I have a whole lot more energy yet, but that's my own fault for having bad sleep hygeine. My craving for sugar is diminished but bread still calls my name.

A friend just called me this past week and said that she's been diagnosed as pre-diabetic. She's starting Body For Life this coming week complete with five meals a day, whey protein powder, and two workouts a day. I find myself grateful for the wakeup calls I've had that kept me from quite getting there. My grandpa has been a great example of a man who has decided to lose weight and exercised what I now consider to be Herculean discipline in doing so, quickly and for the long haul.

I'm just relieved to finally be making desperately needed progress on my health. I've been without my reflux medication for a couple of months now with only one episode of heartburn. So, one health issue is crossed off the list (in pencil, but there you go). I look forward to my slow but steady progress.

Finally! I found the camera battery charger.

Trying very hard not to smile, and showing off his huge eyelashes at the same time.



Still trying not to smile.


As soon as the camera comes out, these girls go a little nuts.

I told them to hug, and they did, but they were so eager to pose on their own that the hug only lasted 2 seconds.

Um.... yeah.



And a cheesy grin.



And this beautiful girl decided to arrive at a milestone yesterday. Can you tell what's new?


Here's a different angle....

Limbo again

Man is officially discharged from the hospital after an extended outpatient treatment. However, he isn't going back to his job at all, so in the mean time his job is to go to all of his appointments and otherwise keep in touch with his command. He may get to do some sort of internship to keep him busy once they figure out which unit in which to put him, and he may actually have another opportunity to attend school this fall. If he does get to do school again or even hang out half the day on Tuesdays and Thursdays, that would definitely make my fall life easier as I wouldn't have to find childcare. No official word on the medboard yet but we're told that we're "almost done" with that process. We'll have a chance to appeal once their decision comes back, but we're not sure what decision we'd really be happy with and whether to fight.

In the mean time, I'm going to go take some stress out on the gym.

Everyone's got somewhere to go

If we don't hear about the medboard before I start school, things will start rolling along for a few months in a new pattern: I'll have school on Tuesdays and Thursdays, the three older kids will have school 5 days a week, Freida will go to child care while I'm at school, and Man will have doctors appointments and office work. We'll all have some place to go.

I kind of thought that this sort of arrangement would happen just a little later in life, when Freida would be old enough to attend school full time. I've long wanted some occupation outside the home and it suits my temperament extremely well. But I just thought my youngest would be older.

I tell myself that it's only for 10 hours a week, and that she isn't even fully potty trained yet (much to my chagrin this morning, I tell you) but we're moving into a new phase of life where each of us, for a significant portion of each week, will have their own life outside the family. It's healthy to have some time apart. It's liberating and enlightening and I wouldn't have it any other way. But of course I feel some loss as I think back to when the older two kids were tiny, or even when the younger two were more tiny. Then I start to understand why people get themselves small pets. There are some seriously strong hormones released when a small, warm body cuddles lovingly on your chest.

Maybe I'll feel a grand huzzah when Thing 4 finally potty trains completely. Maybe I won't feel a wrench when my last baby grows accustomed to day care and no longer cries when I leave her. Maybe I'll head off to school but take a moment before starting the engine to sit and thoroughly recall the smell of newborn and the wonder of that first yawn, struggling all over again in amazement that their little heads could be cupped comfortably in the palm of my hand.

Right now I shake myself all over and look up at the sparkling blue eyes that want a bite of my breakfast and to tell me a story about Princess Peach and Luigi. Moving forward feels so slow and awkward for them still. Oh, they'll know better in time.

Limbo -- not a graceful place to exist

The past four years have taught me that waiting for life to happen is a sure way to waste precious time. My second semester of college looms before me when I could have taken online classes at any time over the past 9 years and maybe had a degree by now. I could have made and retained any number of friends if only I had been bold enough to reach out and feel a little more comfortable with myself.

There is nothing like tremendous personal discomfort to force someone to define their own identity.

Yesterday, Man spent several hours getting papers signed both here and at Walter Reed to get into something called the Warrior Transition Unit. The idea behind this unit to provide a place for wounded warriors to be accountable to the Army while still being able to go to their many appointments. Since Man now goes to half a dozen appointments per week, they've decided they're not going to get much real work out of him and it'd be best to put him in this unit until things are looking up for him.

We got the unofficial findings at his big Med Board hearing from a few months ago, wherein he was found unfit for duty. Now, it being unofficial, we're not quite packing yet. Especially since they said his level of depression was "medically acceptable," something with which we and his doctors don't agree. This means that we'll need to appeal if his level of disability is based purely on shoulder pain, and that could lengthen this process by a few months. Since we're so close to the finish line on the main portion of the medboard, I'm not sure whether to plan for school anymore, though.

Regardless of what's going on in the next few months, I'm taking delight in purging our closets and cupboards. There is a big pile of crap that has accumulated in the back portion of my house. It has now doubled and moved to the living room, awaiting the day Man will actually let me keep the van so I can go dispose of it at a thrift store. My room is now clear of the boxes through which I was pawing. My real treasures are safely stashed and my trash is prepared for jettison.

Princess is almost done with Harry Potter, has recently begun a new counted cross stitch project, and has moved her clothing from the Kid Clothing Collective by the laundry room to keep all of her possessions in her room. She's growing up a little more and turning her room slowly into the nest some adolescents prefer.

Tag has made a new friend! This time he found the son of a master chief petty officer. Hah! It's funny what friends your kid makes in a mixed rank neighborhood.

I guess that's it for now. I'm going to be posting a but more in the recipe blog now that I have five new Muses to keep me on track, thanks to my brother, parents, Uncle Jim, and E-mealz (low carb plan).

The reward for honesty

We were at the Commissary today. Tag happened to find a small pile of folded bills on the ground. He picked them up, told me about them, and we took a look. There were three bills totalling $7. I said "well, we'll have to find customer service and turn them in." He said "wait, can I just give it to the guy who dropped them? He's right down there." I smiled, gave my approval and quietly followed him to watch his progress down the aisle. It was just crowded enough that I couldn't see the exact person to whom he ran, but I watch Tag's ecstatic face as he raced back to me, waving the dollar the kind man had given him as a reward for his honesty. Oooo, he made some big plans for that dollar. He wanted to save it to buy a motorcycle, or save it just so he could have a million more just like it. It ended up getting exchanged for a churro at Costco though. Honesty is so sweet.