a principal's principles.

Last week I went and had a chat with my kids' principal.  I had asked to observe Tag in class since that kid is almost totally refusing to do any work at all.  She said "sure! but we have this policy the county makes me observe.  I think it's from war time so many decades ago.  All you have to do it scribble a request in writing and I'll use my rubber stamp to approve it."   Done and done, and I went and observed my son in class.  That kid is bored out of his mind, but that's a different post.

I went back and spoke with her after my observation, asking what options we had available to us.  Can you switch teachers to one who's got, for lack of a better term, more engaging stage presence?  Can he be observed by the school psychologist to see if there's anything there that might impact him in the long term?  What study habits can I work with at home to help him see that schoolwork doesn't bite? 

She listened to my concerns and then said that one of the greatest mistakes parents make is to be afraid of allowing their children to be uncomfortable.  I was watching him with this teacher and wondering if he was bored and disinterested in her "oh, whadda widdle pweshus child who is NUMBER ONE IN MY BOOK!  Tell me how magnificent you are" routine.  This lady has got self esteem on the noodle and there's no shaking her.  I watched Tag play along with her over the top Carebear act and he was making fun of it.  I couldn't really blame him even as I told him to quit being impolite.  The principal assured me that behind that "rainbow ducky of extraordinary self worth where EVERYONE can be president some day" bit is a bulldog of a teacher who doesn't let any work slide under her radar and that if I want Tag to really be successful, I needed to leave him where he was with a teacher who wouldn't let him get away with anything.

Mostly she said (in a very kind way) that she was generally intolerant of parents who wanted to do things that made themselves comfortable, or well reflected in their child's education as opposed to advocating for the child himself.  I told her that I wasn't interested in my own image as a parent, but I was deeply concerned that this attitude would persist and he would end up being a slacker teenager who was too smart to do homework and too apathetic to care that not doing it would fail him.  She said to give him time, that the school was watching him and they already have plans A through F laid out with plans G through Z contingent upon the outcome of the observations available in A through F.  She welcomed me into the school as a volunteer as often as I wanted so I could continue to keep an eye on him and the school, welcomed my open and frequent communication with the same, and assured me that she didn't run a school that ignores any child.  Ever. 

I walked away from that meeting with hope and relief that I wasn't alone in trying to figure this child out.  I was happy that Ms. J didn't let my panic put her into a panic that might have resulted in some hasty and unwise decisions. 

Today I walked home from dropping three kids off and listened to the loud and obnoxious conversation behind me:

You see that principal over there?  I hate that woman.  You'd think a principal would be kind and nurturing but she's all business and policy and cold!  It was raining, you know not hard but it was raining and I came to the front of the building, you know with the locked doors and I knocked but she wouldn't let me in until I rang the bell and the office buzzed me in.  I said "why'd you leave me out there in the rain?" and she said "it's the policy to have people buzz in for safety" and I was like "all they do is push a button and I come right in why couldn't you have just opened the door?"  Then she sent all those poor little kids into the rain to wait for their parents instead of letting the parents come into the gym to get their kids.  Why would she make all those kids get wet?  I mean, that's cold!  Then she whined about all these parents coming to get their kids and said "why are all these parents here?  It's just a little rain, all these parents are going to make traffic so bad that someone might get hurt and it gums up the office to have everyone coming here right now, it's just a little rain!"  How cold is that?  She lets everyone get wet and then whines when they don't want to get wet.  I hate that woman.



And that's when I felt deep compassion for this principal who cares more for children than for their parents, who fights so many fights a day to see that they get the education they need and not just in math and science.  Next Friday is a volunteer orientation for parents to attend who want to volunteer at the school.  You better believe my butt will be in that seat.