To be...

It's been recently impressed upon me that I have to be what I want my children to become.

Tall order, eh?

I havn't yet decided if that means I want to relax my standards and hopes for them, or if I should straighten out more.

That talk on Sunday keeps reverberating in me. "Sisters, your offering is acceptable to the Lord." When Cain and Abel made offerings it wasn't what they offered that was important. It was the spirit in which they offered that mattered.

I'm finally starting to be at peace with a "line upon line, here a little and there a little" approach. On day, one room, one problem, one task at a time.

Yesterday I took Things 2, 3, and 4 out to get Frieda registered with our insurance and to go to a store real quick. Tag showed me something he wanted (a Lighting McQueen place setting) and when I told him no he proceeded to be an absolute pill for the rest of our time there. I sighed, checked out, got everyone in the van, then drove 2 minutes to the ocean and sat in the parking lot where I could see the waves and hear the surf. Tag ranted some more but I sat silent, letting the rhythm of the ocean carry my thoughts and reactions. Pebbles and Frieda both fell asleep, Tag fell quiet, and we went home in peace. He had some residual pill-ish-ness going on but generally kept it to himself. Later that evening, after refusing to eat a delicious dinner a friend brought over, he tucked himself in bed and went to sleep early. We heard not peep nor weep from him until the next morning.

What gave me the strength to ignore the temper? What gave the other girls the peace to ignore it, too? It could be that we're reading scriptures regularly now. It could be that I'm too tired to fight with him. It could also be that I'm just done being reactive now, since it never gets us anywhere and only feeds his rage.

He's a good kid. The tempers are now by far the exception and usually just happen during times of great change or fatigue.

Some day he'll eat dinner. Some day not getting what he wants won't destroy his day. Some day Princess won't fret over having to shower herself or tie her own shoes. Some day Pebbles will choose to not push every button the older two kids possess. Some day they'll have problems that are significant to adults, and these kid problems will seem light years away.

And that's ok, too.

One line.

One day.

One moment at a time.