That's so Army

Today's Facebook status message --

Coining a new phrase: That's so Army. It describes a situation or action conducted with extreme inefficiency, far too much paperwork, as little use of too much money as possible, and extremely convoluted logic.


Today we were blessed to go visit the USO office (United Service Organizations) where they were giving free backpacks, school supplies, and ice cream to kids going to school this fall. I thought "great! I could use some water colors and crayons, and Princess' backpack barely made it through this last school year before utterly disintegrating. Woot!"

So we all got on our bikes (or in the bike trailer, in the case of Things 3&4) and pedaled on down. Of course the bikes were a great idea, given how enlisted folks descend upon free stuff as locusts. We do the same, but we try to stick with the useful stuff. There are only so many bumper stickers and Oriental Trading Post-type garbage toys we really want around.

Anyway, as expected, the variety of backpacks was precisely nil. Everyone got black, and they all smell vaguely of cigarette smoke. We got our ice cream, ate in the shade, and prepared to head on back before being caught by a friend who was sitting in her vehicle, scoping the proceedings and sending her daughter in for recon. She told me that she heard that the backpacks were just filled with snack food and a book. We pulled one out and, lo and behold, a couple of books, a frisbee (with some company logo) and various snack items poured forth. Nary a water color, pencil, or blunt scissor to be had.

On the up side, I no longer have to spend $20 on a backpack for Princess, but I will be spending $ on fabric markers or key chains so the kids can make their backpacks visually distinct from the many dozens of other black backpacks slung over kid-to-tween shoulders. The snacks also made a nice little picnic on a hot afternoon and we got a pretty decent work out, what with bike trailers filled with little people and snack foods.

Am I ungrateful? Mmmmm, maybe a little. How grateful should I be when school supplies are advertised and we end up getting more advertising thrown at us in the form of free junk? Now I'm off to go gather REAL school supplies for my kids in the form of boxes of Kleenex and one (1) black dry erase marker, etc.