Hello, I love you! Won't you tell me your name?

Mr. Taggart came home yesterday.

T: Mom! I made a new friend. Want to see him? [spoken as if the new friend were a puppy or toad]

M: Sure, what's your friend's name?

T: Oh, um, lemme ask him. [stage whisper out the slightly open front door] What's your name?

After introductions go all the way 'round, we get to the pertinent point.

J: I wanted to know if I could spend the night here.

T: Yeah, it'd be so fun and we're really good friends now.

I got sort of an icy chill in my stomach. This boy is two years older than Tag and the only reason we knew him from Adam is that Adam likely didn't wear Transformers t-shirts. How do I explain why Tag can't spend the night at a friend's house when it isn't a school night and the kid had miraculously gotten his chores done with a smile that day?

I can only imagine what the teenage years will be like. He's going to be (and already is) one of those kids who has an instant connection with pretty girls. It reminds me of the scene in Amadeus when Wolfy comes home with his party crowd. He introduces a woman to Stanzy.

W: And this is.... a very, nice girl.

However I didn't have any sobering news for Tag to dampen his desire for a sleepover. Before J left he invited Tag to his own home for a sleepover. We all had a serious talk about sleepovers later that evening.

M: We're careful about what movies and music you guys experience at our house. We want you to understand some things about life and people before you're exposed in a way you didn't choose. [keep in mind, this took a while to explain fully to children age 6 and 7] Also, we don't know these people. We don't know if they smoke or have dogs, either of which would give you, Tag, an asthma attack. Do you know if he has a dog?

T: No, I don't, but I bet it's a nice dog.

M: What if you had gone on a sleepover with the boys who beat you up before you knew they could get so angry and then they beat you up in their house? Would that have been a good sleepover?

T: We woulda had fun before the beat up.

M: What if the parents stole you, or hurt you? I don't even know them.

T: Well, just come and meet them right now and then I can sleep over.

M: It's 8:45pm.

T: Well, I think we should drive over a volcano once.

M: If we try to do that, once is all it would take. No sleepover tonight.

Today we were riding to the grocery store when Tag had an announcement.

T: I talked to J, and he says his family doesn't smoke, has no dog, doesn't watch bad movies, and only plays bad music sometimes.

M: [shriveling inside a bit, as I imagine J reporting my inquiries to his parents]

T: Can you go meet them today?

M: I think I'm going to have to.



Every day I learn anew one of most frustrating things about having kids: if it has been heard or seen by a child, it can no longer be a secret. From anyone.