How did that happen?

So, do you guys remember the last Army Family Covenant signing we went to? They needed a family for one they had just recently and, since we worked out nicely the last time (and the Garrison Commander happened to remember me as an AFTB instructor which is one of her pet projects) they called us and asked if we wanted to do another covenant signing ceremony.

Sure, we said. After all, this time we would get to throw water balloons at the old, nasty, boarded houses a mere one block away from our own home. Following the balloons, a backhoe would tear down the house before our eyes and there would be cake afterward. Sounded like fun.

A couple of days before the actual ceremony we found out that a congressman would be there. Then we found out that some high ranking officials from the Pentagon would be there. Then we found out that we were to be the ONLY family in the photo op signing the covenant. Oy. And I didn't have a thing to wear.

A frantic call from the commander's aide confirmed the dress code as business casual and could we please be 20... no, 30 minutes early? My khaki's are too short (by an inch or so) and my nicer 3/4 sleeve shirts are all a little tight while I'm lactating and the only semi nice shoes I have are heavy sketchers which I couldn't possibly wearing with a skirt... do you see where this is going?

I don't know why I waited until the very morning of the ceremony to rush out to Target, especially since I slept in until 7. I spent an hour getting all the kids dressed then ran out the door thanking heaven that Target opens at 8 am. This is a newer Target so those carts that can fit three kids fit into the family sized dressing rooms. However, no dressing room could contain a Tag, as evidenced by his magnetic pull to the door which, of course, must be messed with when he is proximal to it which, of course, means I had to yell at him to close the %*$@ door after I started to undress. -sigh- (no, I didn't curse, but I sure thought about it)

Anyway, I tried on a bunch of khaki's, picked one, found two shirts (which are now my favs, I love these shirts) and went to check out. The whole time I bought 5 items I had to tell the kids to put away the candy 7 times, tell Pebbles to come back here 4 times, tell Tag to leave his sister alone 8 times, put a pacifier back in place 3 times, tell the kids to put candy away 10 more times, have my stomach fall through the floor when the cashier told me there was a slight stain on the pants, feel better about my impulsive clothing purchase after getting a 10% discount on stained clothes, tell Pebbles to quit trying to bite her brother 3 times, gather the three olders 4 times when they found out that there was even better candy in the next isle, and finally complete my transaction. Every time I take all four to the store, I swear within me that it will never happen again. Ha!

So I got home to get myself ready, put the khaki's on, check myself out in the mirror, and just for kicks hold up my old ones to see how much longer the new ones were. Haha. Hahahaaaa. Oh crud. You guessed it.

I meekly put the old ones on but used my new shirt and felt like a million bucks. Then I hid the new khaki's and hoped that Man wouldn't ask about them.

So Man came home, we piled into the van, and got there 30 mins early on the dot. We were shown the table where the signing would take place where we had our family name on a paper, standing next to and in front of 4 mayors , the congressman, the garrison commander, the battalion commander, 3 different commandants, and some other state official whose title I forget. Wow.

In the mean time we sat in the third row to await the ceremony. That's when I took a good look at the program, which outlined 2 hours worth of events. What?? Last time it was only 45 mins long and the kids were fine. I thought longingly of magnadoodles, coloring and sketch books, or even a stinking ball of string. My diaper bag always has a few odds and ends in it so we made due with one matchbox car, a single small baby toy, Man's mechanical pencil and one of the programs, and a roll of that stretchy, sticky stuff they use on your arm after they draw blood. We managed to get through with only one major meltdown from Pebbles (someone dared to steal her mechanical pencil) and just two glares from someone in the front row. I noticed that none of the military people glared at all. They were the most understanding.

It was fun to be sitting just a few yards from an old house while the congressman and the command sergeant major took turns operating the back hoe to initiate the tear down of one of those heinous eyesores. There was much applause especially from all the little boys as the house was reduced to a pile of splinters and pink insulation.

Man and I kept looking at each other in wonder, asking "how on earth did we become part of this?" Princess got to sign the community covenant now that she knows how to spell her name. When my turn came my pen didn't work at all so, just as I was thinking that I should try to juice it up on the corner of the covenant, the congressman whips his out and says "those government pens never work. Try mine." Afterward we got to mingle in an indoor reception, eating fine fruit and cheese, sipping Sprite out of stemware. We met the fire chief who I made the mistake of calling "sir." He looked pained and said "oh no. Scott. Just Scott."

We took Man home so he could rush back to work and I headed over to the PX where I planned to spend my painstakingly budgeted pennies on an entertainment center I've had my eye on, only to find that it had been knocked down in price from $268 to $62. I suddenly felt better about the stupid pants. And now I need to go buy a newspaper. Ha!

How did we end up there? How? I sure don't know. I'm still thinking about it with wonder and a slight degree of intimidation.