Woohoo! Go away, salesperson!

A young punk came to my door.

YP: Hey, I'm doing this thing about points and free speech where I can earn a scholarship. Have you been to college?

A: Nope.

YP: Does your work have you involved with a lot of people? Do you meet a lot of people?

A: I do a lot of volunteer work, so it's very much people based. So, yes. Are you selling something?

YP: Nope, I'm looking at earning points. I'm going to be a pediatrician with a Spanish minor, so a bi-lingual pediatrician.

A: Good for you.

YP: In the mean time, I'm learning about people skills. Do you have any advice to give me for people skills?

A: Yes. When you first meet someone, let them do 80% of the talking. Believe it or not, they remember you better that way.

YP: Wow, that's some great advice. This is how I earn points. [pulls out laminated sheets with hundreds of names of magazines and books] These are some common books and things that kids read [one of the ones I caught was ESPN].

A: Ah, so you are selling something.

YP: No, no, I'm just trying to earn points.

[I handed his sheets back after a mere glance]

YP: Did you see anything there?

A: Nope.

YP: Well, thanks for supporting education. Have a nice day.


Now, what I wanted to call after him was "guilt trips are not a good people skill, you whipper-snapper, and stay off my lawn."

But I held my peace, glad that I didn't give any ground and didn't entertain him longer than necessary. I used to be one of those people who'd listen to the entire program, watch the whole demonstration, and waver between buying or not.

Well, not no more!