Rosencrantz & Guildenstern Are Dead.

I wish I could tell you that I understood the whole thing. I really couldn't. I guess it would help if I read Hamlet which, despite reading many other of Shakespeare's works, I havn't yet picked up. We tended to avoid the histories and tragedies while being homeschooled as the comedies were far more attractive.

Anyway, I taught a class this past Tuesday on Personal Relationships. Preparing for it was a very interesting opportunity for me to reflect on how I handle personal relationships, whether with friends or family. I thought about the amount of time involved with keeping up on a very close relationship and also thought about a church sermon that basically said "we spend our time doing that which is important to us."

I thought about my friends and my family, writing in my blog and taking pictures, spending time with my kids and taking whatever time we can to visit whoever we can as we drive from here to our next home. And I realized that I don't always spend much time on the things that are important to me.

Why is this? I was telling Man the other day that if I were to talk to each of my friends and family for one half hour each week, I would be on the phone for at least 6 hours a day, 7 days a week, and I'm sure I'd still be missing someone. I spoke with a sister in law on the phone around the time of Man's birthday and we recalled that it had been since before Frieda was born that we had last spoken. We still managed to have a great conversation.

I find that I prefer relationships that don't require reassurance every couple of days that yes, we still like each other, we still get along, and yes, that running joke still has some life to it. Sure, if Man leaves for an extended period, I expect some sort of communication. Others were shocked to learn that I only speak with my mother on the phone once every several weeks, and that's usually when I have a question I just don't want to wait to ask. I love hearing from friends and even call them every now and again (sorry guys. not one of my talents, especially out here in "the land of no cell phone signals") but really, phone calls are more for delight and enjoyment than need and reassurance, right? The happier and more independent I become, the more I find enough delight and enjoyment in my regular activities to keep me from feeling deprived if I don't have a friend on the phone with any regularity. I wonder what drives some people to be in such a state of constant communication.

Once we're out of here and my cell phone actually starts getting a signal, I'll call more often whilst cleaning or folding or swabbing or what have you.

My mother in law, while she was visiting us after Frieda was born, got phone calls several times a day, every day. I've never seen a lady get called so very often. My phone rang more often for her than for me. I suddenly knew how Man felt: amused, bemused, and not at all troubled about it. I used to wonder if he felt a bit left out. Folks, my right ear gets sweaty after a while, my shoulder hurts, and I have to be doing something with my hands or eyes. So I guess I should get a hands-free to go with the cell then, eh? The mother in law told me that she would do her best to make sure my phone started to ring more after she left, but I don't think she understood that it really doesn't bother me at all when I go a whole day without the phone ringing even a single time. No one around here believes that I really am an introvert who has learned some extroverted skills as a survival tactic. My friend, R, did her best to lengthen my visit to her home the other day but after putting all of my extroverted skills on display for a lengthy class, I just didn't have it in me to socialize for a goodly period of time.

During the class we talked about how to introduce yourself (smile, firm handshake, eye contact) and I went around the room demonstrating with each person. I had each person stand, shake my hand, look me in the eye, and we had a brief conversation. We practiced a free exchange of pleasantries in which each person attempted to keep about 80% of the conversation revolving around the other person. I find that a good first impression means asking more than telling. After doing this exercise and giving a one hour long, multi-media presentation, I just had to go into the cave. Poor R just seemed like she wanted the company and despite my kids' antics, was so gracious and kind as a hostess that I felt bad for bailing early and retreating to whimper in my corner.

(Oddly, each of the ladies in the class said that it was very intimidating to shake my hand and look me in the eye. Honestly, am I intimidating? If so, what can I do to tone it down, besides shrink?)

So, I guess I'm a lot like Man in this regard: I'm a bit of an oaf when it comes to going out of my way to spend time on the people who mean the most to me if you happen to live outside my neighborhood, and I wish I knew how to apologize about that without having to call you all, or call a lot more often.

People, to me, are like Rosencrantz and Guildenstern -- I can understand them and their lives enough to enjoy them, but I always seem to be fuzzy on the larger picture. I don't even understand what I don't understand. Oh, well. Here's to getting a better cell phone once our contract is up, and living where cell towers are allowed.