There are a lot of things I hate about depression. Some of them sound more or less profound based on individual ideology. Here's a short list:
1. Lack of hope in the future. What's the point of exercise if it just doesn't seem to "work"?
2. Lack of appetite. I need to cook but nothing sounds good, even the stuff I normally go crazy over. You know something's wrong when even the thought of a Chipotle burrito with guac doesn't do anything for you.
3. Fatigue. I get my 8 hours and I still feel wiped out even with corrected apnea.
4. Everything takes tons of effort. Getting out of that seat happens but it's so HARD.
And I could go on. But here's the one I hate the most:
Stifled creativity. I love to make stories and sew little dolls and do a huge bunch of other things but when I'm depressed that creative energy seems to be forever out of my reach.
Tonight, I tapped into some of that creativity when it came to making dinner. I have been less than inspired for the past several months and haven't come up with anything new in a long time. However, it's about time to go grocery shopping so I decided to make pasta and throw whatever was in the fridge into the pot and hope for the best. Even Bren said he didn't hate it. Score.
Pasta... stuff
Cooked spaghetti (make sure to salt the water)
Chopped artichoke hearts (just had a handful left in a Sam's sized jar)
Chopped fresh spinach (big double handful -- a lot goes a little way)
Pesto (to taste)
Left over cooked chicken, chopped
Cherry tomatoes, sliced
basil
black pepper, ground
salt to taste
If it's dry, add a splash of milk or chicken broth and mix. It shouldn't be runny at all but the moisture helps if you end up salting it much. I topped mine with a bit of parm and chopped black olives, but I wish I had green olives or capers on hand. That would have been a nice pop of flavor.
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2 comments:
I'm not sure if it'll help you, but I've found that I enjoy different types of creativity when I'm depressed versus when I'm not (though I can't really define a time that I'm not a little depressed, there are times that I'm not as much depressed).
When I'm depressed I enjoy collecting, cataloging, organizing, planning, and designing things. When I'm not as depressed I tend toward creating things in 3D, writing code, writing fiction, or making other kinds of art.
Anyway, it always bothers me when I go into depression in the middle of a "making" creative endeavor, but sometimes I can transition and keep working on the same project but in a different creative capacity.
Just my personal experiences with it. Everyone's different though. :)
I agree with the above comment! Totally. Try working on a project in a different capacity ~ organizing your fabric scraps, cataloging your ideas.. something. Anything that of course doesn't require an enormous amount of effort.
I have to force myself sometimes to see things in a different light when I'm in a funk. I go outside and just sit. I take out my project that I'm working on and I just look at it. Sometimes that's all the effort I can muster, but often it changes my perspective enough where I don't feel as bleak.
You can use a 'life-line' too ya know! Call a friend. Email a friend. Get out of your house even if it's just sitting on the front steps!
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