Monday, April 27, 2009
some pics
One of the many nice things about living on post:
People came this morning and planted beautifying flora in my front yard. Guys are going to come later and add mulch.
The blossoms are almost all fallen now. It makes the most amazing drifts where there are high concentrations of flowering trees.
"Mom! Dassa big flower!"
This one wouldn't hold still for a moment. It was so pretty outside. She has been eating almost nonstop during every waking hour but just continues to slim into a string bean.
Pebbles loves all of the flowers around here. She gathered quite the fistful.
-sigh- I love spring.
People came this morning and planted beautifying flora in my front yard. Guys are going to come later and add mulch. The blossoms are almost all fallen now. It makes the most amazing drifts where there are high concentrations of flowering trees.
"Mom! Dassa big flower!"
This one wouldn't hold still for a moment. It was so pretty outside. She has been eating almost nonstop during every waking hour but just continues to slim into a string bean.
Pebbles loves all of the flowers around here. She gathered quite the fistful.
-sigh- I love spring.
Thursday, April 23, 2009
Ooops! Parenting whoopsie
Link to story about a mom who got tired of her two daughters (10 and 12 years old) fighting in the back seat, so she pulled over, ordered them out of the car, then drove off. The 12 years old chased the car, mom let her back in, and left the 10 year old. Later she called in a missing person report to the police only to learn that her daughter had been picked up by a stranger who treated the girl to ice cream then took her to the police station. Mom has been arrested.
So, when I first heard this story I thought "man, I would have done the same thing." But that isn't true... I've *wanted* to do that and just never got angry enough to act on it. That got me thinking about what I actually have done about it.
Angry responses:
Yell. Never works very well. "Both of you just quit talking if you can't sort this out!"
Turn the radio up until they can't hear each other. Either a rock station or the classical station. Doesn't work with Elton John.
Stay stonily silent until they either start screaming at each other or get tired of fighting.
More reasonable responses:
"Hey, what's the problem? How do you feel about that? What could you do next time instead? Do you have anything to say to your sibling?" You know, walking through the text book garbage that never really seems to get anywhere.
Pull over into a parking lot, get out of the van, and wait for silence while closely examining anything but the people in the van. Sometimes I let the people who aren't fighting out of the van so they don't have to be punished.
Sense of humor:
While driving to Ikea, I had to take part of the DC beltway so I admonished them to silence by saying "if you're fighting and I have to deal with you while we're on this highway, we might crash and die." It worked. Some of you might not think this is funny, but everyone laughed and then fell silent. So.
"Whoever stops fighting first gets to pick a song. Just don't pick one with hand motions, because then I'd have to let go of the steering wheel." After a couple of songs we talk about the problem so they can look at it with happier eyes.
"Hey, you want to hear the most annoying sound in the world?" It shakes them out of the expected because I pick a different sound each time, they think I'm weird, but it gets them out of the rut of arguing they've set up.
I think the angry responses aren't effective because it stone walls solutions. The same things that resolve conflict with Man work on the kids as well: humor, understanding, appropriate concessions that keep my rights, interests, and well being intact, and gratitude. It's sometimes shocking how far a simple "thank you" will go.
What do you do when your children argue too much?
So, when I first heard this story I thought "man, I would have done the same thing." But that isn't true... I've *wanted* to do that and just never got angry enough to act on it. That got me thinking about what I actually have done about it.
Angry responses:
Yell. Never works very well. "Both of you just quit talking if you can't sort this out!"
Turn the radio up until they can't hear each other. Either a rock station or the classical station. Doesn't work with Elton John.
Stay stonily silent until they either start screaming at each other or get tired of fighting.
More reasonable responses:
"Hey, what's the problem? How do you feel about that? What could you do next time instead? Do you have anything to say to your sibling?" You know, walking through the text book garbage that never really seems to get anywhere.
Pull over into a parking lot, get out of the van, and wait for silence while closely examining anything but the people in the van. Sometimes I let the people who aren't fighting out of the van so they don't have to be punished.
Sense of humor:
While driving to Ikea, I had to take part of the DC beltway so I admonished them to silence by saying "if you're fighting and I have to deal with you while we're on this highway, we might crash and die." It worked. Some of you might not think this is funny, but everyone laughed and then fell silent. So.
"Whoever stops fighting first gets to pick a song. Just don't pick one with hand motions, because then I'd have to let go of the steering wheel." After a couple of songs we talk about the problem so they can look at it with happier eyes.
"Hey, you want to hear the most annoying sound in the world?" It shakes them out of the expected because I pick a different sound each time, they think I'm weird, but it gets them out of the rut of arguing they've set up.
I think the angry responses aren't effective because it stone walls solutions. The same things that resolve conflict with Man work on the kids as well: humor, understanding, appropriate concessions that keep my rights, interests, and well being intact, and gratitude. It's sometimes shocking how far a simple "thank you" will go.
What do you do when your children argue too much?
Monday, April 20, 2009
Rain
Some people might get sick of this much rain. Some people might be bothered by the soft, squishy thumps invading late evening silence or the coursing rush of a creek awakened to froth.
I still can't get enough of it.
We havn't had cause to use an umbrella for at least a couple of years and now we use it at least a couple times a week. Driving in the rain is definitely right out unless you take some of the more tame roads. Some need inside me is drinking in deliciousness at all of the wooded green this state has to offer.
There's a ladies lunch every Monday and our kids are all old enough that instead of gory birthing stories we hear all of the horror stories from school. Apparently the schools here are pretty terrible as far as drugs, gangs, and bullying once you hit middle school. I'm going to take it one day at a time and keep communication with the school very open.
We're all enjoying the chance to stretch a bit in a larger home. It actually seems a little easier to maintain, not only because it takes a relatively larger amount of clutter to make it look messy, but the kids older kids are also being asked to shoulder a greater share of the family work. The youngers have their jobs, as well, but it's nice to have the olders that much closer to pulling their weight.
I still can't get enough of it.
We havn't had cause to use an umbrella for at least a couple of years and now we use it at least a couple times a week. Driving in the rain is definitely right out unless you take some of the more tame roads. Some need inside me is drinking in deliciousness at all of the wooded green this state has to offer.
There's a ladies lunch every Monday and our kids are all old enough that instead of gory birthing stories we hear all of the horror stories from school. Apparently the schools here are pretty terrible as far as drugs, gangs, and bullying once you hit middle school. I'm going to take it one day at a time and keep communication with the school very open.
We're all enjoying the chance to stretch a bit in a larger home. It actually seems a little easier to maintain, not only because it takes a relatively larger amount of clutter to make it look messy, but the kids older kids are also being asked to shoulder a greater share of the family work. The youngers have their jobs, as well, but it's nice to have the olders that much closer to pulling their weight.
Tuesday, April 14, 2009
more pics
Our backyard has a bi-level slab, evidence of the duplex the house used to be.
The kitchen after some of our stuff started coming in.
The dining area, which is smaller than the living room.
Living area. It's a lot bigger than it looks in this pic. It's 27 feet from the pillars to that wall.
The kitchen after some of our stuff started coming in.
The dining area, which is smaller than the living room.
Living area. It's a lot bigger than it looks in this pic. It's 27 feet from the pillars to that wall.
pics
The midwest wasn't very inspirational from a photography standpoint. Everything was still brown and dead. So I had fun with color saturation in the van.
East of Columbus, Ohio had a lot of bilboards.
My brother, Romeo, and Freida.
My Uncle J and Tag after making a snowman.
The car accident we had between Oklahoma and Kansas. We hit an ice patch and spun off the road. The tire tracks show our journey through the grass until Man managed to drive us out of the ditch. We were blessed to not hit any signs, and to land in a ditch we didn't need a tow for.
East of Columbus, Ohio had a lot of bilboards.
My brother, Romeo, and Freida.
My Uncle J and Tag after making a snowman.
The car accident we had between Oklahoma and Kansas. We hit an ice patch and spun off the road. The tire tracks show our journey through the grass until Man managed to drive us out of the ditch. We were blessed to not hit any signs, and to land in a ditch we didn't need a tow for.
Monday, April 13, 2009
updates
I need to transfer the stuff I typed on the laptop over to this computer.
In the mean time, a small update.
We're still ankle-deep in boxes. The movers unpacked for us and took all the boxes our books used to live in, so now we're faced with the decision to either get more boxes or actually let them live on a shelf and breathe. Shelves won out. Now the hunt for shelves is on.
We rolled into town and stopped immediately at the housing office. The lady offered us a 5 bedroom house on the spot, we took it sight unseen, and are beyond thrilled at our score. This place is huge. Which means it takes about 30 mins to vacuum the whole thing so we are now a shoe-free zone and I've got IKEA rugs at the entrance of each major traffic lane. Which is really fun when you have a 15 month old who watches us studiously and mimics our methodical rejection of packing materials by putting the rugs out with the rubbish. Oh, well. Redirection is my friend, and she loves putting the recyclables out for me.
Tag says that the house is too big. But he has his own room now and doesn't like being so seperated from the family. He has already made friends with about half the kids on our block, which is a feat considering how kid-rich our neck of post is. He's already loving school but we're had issues with him getting an asthma attack every time he sets foot outside. The Advair isn't working and the clinic has no appts until May. Time to be a pushy asthma mom and bully an urgent appt out of the poor appt clerk so my kid doesn't have to stay on the nebulizer for a whole month.
Princess loves having her own room and spends hours with the door locked whilst reading or who knows what. When she emerges, it's because she wants her family. It's a positive thing for all.
The layout of this place is very odd. There is tons of open space but the use of the space is still ridiculously inefficient. We have 4 closets outside of bedrooms and the = of 7 closets in bedrooms, but they somehow manage to hold very little stuff. The shelves are shallow, the closets are awkwardly placed, and the kitchen is spacious but has very few upper cabinets. We'll be using a linen closet as a pantry. It used to be a duplex but they knocked out a wall and did a full remodel. Despite its layout deficiencies we're giddily happy with it and gradually settling in.
The area is beautiful and more heavily populated than I've ever experienced, even in CA. All of the good stores are always full of people and to get anywhere you must take a series of highways or freeways because the surface streets are far too crowded and broken by stoplights. It's comforting to leave the bustle outside and retire into what could be considered the ultimate gated community. Living on post is definitely a perk.
We live within sight of two large parks, and within sight of a community center which we're told will be completed by this summer. We're close enough to the school that the kids can walk by themselves. The temple is a mere 45 min drive, and everything we've ever wanted to experience on the East coast is within a day's drive and back again.
All in all, I'm breathing a huge sigh right now. We've been through a lot and it's nice to enjoy some rich blessings. Who knows how long they'll last so we're savoring as much as possible. Gratitude and relief are the words that keep coming to mind. This is a good place for us.
In the mean time, a small update.
We're still ankle-deep in boxes. The movers unpacked for us and took all the boxes our books used to live in, so now we're faced with the decision to either get more boxes or actually let them live on a shelf and breathe. Shelves won out. Now the hunt for shelves is on.
We rolled into town and stopped immediately at the housing office. The lady offered us a 5 bedroom house on the spot, we took it sight unseen, and are beyond thrilled at our score. This place is huge. Which means it takes about 30 mins to vacuum the whole thing so we are now a shoe-free zone and I've got IKEA rugs at the entrance of each major traffic lane. Which is really fun when you have a 15 month old who watches us studiously and mimics our methodical rejection of packing materials by putting the rugs out with the rubbish. Oh, well. Redirection is my friend, and she loves putting the recyclables out for me.
Tag says that the house is too big. But he has his own room now and doesn't like being so seperated from the family. He has already made friends with about half the kids on our block, which is a feat considering how kid-rich our neck of post is. He's already loving school but we're had issues with him getting an asthma attack every time he sets foot outside. The Advair isn't working and the clinic has no appts until May. Time to be a pushy asthma mom and bully an urgent appt out of the poor appt clerk so my kid doesn't have to stay on the nebulizer for a whole month.
Princess loves having her own room and spends hours with the door locked whilst reading or who knows what. When she emerges, it's because she wants her family. It's a positive thing for all.
The layout of this place is very odd. There is tons of open space but the use of the space is still ridiculously inefficient. We have 4 closets outside of bedrooms and the = of 7 closets in bedrooms, but they somehow manage to hold very little stuff. The shelves are shallow, the closets are awkwardly placed, and the kitchen is spacious but has very few upper cabinets. We'll be using a linen closet as a pantry. It used to be a duplex but they knocked out a wall and did a full remodel. Despite its layout deficiencies we're giddily happy with it and gradually settling in.
The area is beautiful and more heavily populated than I've ever experienced, even in CA. All of the good stores are always full of people and to get anywhere you must take a series of highways or freeways because the surface streets are far too crowded and broken by stoplights. It's comforting to leave the bustle outside and retire into what could be considered the ultimate gated community. Living on post is definitely a perk.
We live within sight of two large parks, and within sight of a community center which we're told will be completed by this summer. We're close enough to the school that the kids can walk by themselves. The temple is a mere 45 min drive, and everything we've ever wanted to experience on the East coast is within a day's drive and back again.
All in all, I'm breathing a huge sigh right now. We've been through a lot and it's nice to enjoy some rich blessings. Who knows how long they'll last so we're savoring as much as possible. Gratitude and relief are the words that keep coming to mind. This is a good place for us.
Wednesday, April 08, 2009
restaurants
It's all too easy to get tired of restaurant food. Over the past couple of weeks we've had a lot of opportunities to eat out (every single meal, if you count continental breakfasts or a bag of chips from a gas station) and I must say that I'm a lot less enchanted with the idea than I ever have been.
When I was younger it seemed that restaurant food was a delight over which to become delirious. It was savory and unexpected and texturally superior and we didn't have to do dishes afterward. The food was "excellent".
Maybe I changed. Maybe restaurants have changed. In my late teens, they became "good".
This trip has convinced me that my husband and I have to spend at least $50 to get "good" food anymore. Everything else manages to be "fine". Except Chipotle. Oh, my dear, wonderful, Chipotle.
Last night we went to a place that was genuinely "bad". I ordered a Reuben melt. Almost no kraut, the lower slice of bread was soggy and limp despite having been toasted, the corned beef was dry (?!?), the rye bread had no flavor (?!?) and it was nasty. I took a few bites, muscling my way past my disgust because I was hungry, but ended up sending it back.
So now we arrive at my question: since the food was gross but I ate some anyway (less than a third if you count the bland and nasty fries)), should we have accepted the server's offer to take my food off the bill? Man was embarrassed that I would do anything other than say that the food was fine, and just chalk it up as a bad experience. I was grossed out at the idea of eating anything else there, especially after trying a bite of Man's sirloin tips, which didn't taste remarkably different from my corned beef. Man insisted on paying for it, I shrugged, and we'll never eat there again.
So what's the ideal scenario? They have to know that their food is gross or they won't be in business long. One way to strongly communicate that to a business is to not pay them for a reprehensible product. On the other hand, I could have given them a chance to make new food for me, but sampling two plates as well as a small bite of Tag's food convinced me that remaking the food wouldn't help at all. We paid the whole bill and they've lost a large family of customers.
It'll be nice to quit eating out again. We got our things this past Monday but it's in enough disarray that we havn't had time/energy/forethought enough to make that first big shopping trip. Besides, disposable is a better alternative than glop with a chaser of Pepto. Next time I'll make my own Reuben and leave a generous tip for the chef.
(btw, our internet connection is currently borrowed from a kind neighbor with wireless. No, we're not stealing. We'll be back in business later this week, when I'll post pictures and a trip summary.)
When I was younger it seemed that restaurant food was a delight over which to become delirious. It was savory and unexpected and texturally superior and we didn't have to do dishes afterward. The food was "excellent".
Maybe I changed. Maybe restaurants have changed. In my late teens, they became "good".
This trip has convinced me that my husband and I have to spend at least $50 to get "good" food anymore. Everything else manages to be "fine". Except Chipotle. Oh, my dear, wonderful, Chipotle.
Last night we went to a place that was genuinely "bad". I ordered a Reuben melt. Almost no kraut, the lower slice of bread was soggy and limp despite having been toasted, the corned beef was dry (?!?), the rye bread had no flavor (?!?) and it was nasty. I took a few bites, muscling my way past my disgust because I was hungry, but ended up sending it back.
So now we arrive at my question: since the food was gross but I ate some anyway (less than a third if you count the bland and nasty fries)), should we have accepted the server's offer to take my food off the bill? Man was embarrassed that I would do anything other than say that the food was fine, and just chalk it up as a bad experience. I was grossed out at the idea of eating anything else there, especially after trying a bite of Man's sirloin tips, which didn't taste remarkably different from my corned beef. Man insisted on paying for it, I shrugged, and we'll never eat there again.
So what's the ideal scenario? They have to know that their food is gross or they won't be in business long. One way to strongly communicate that to a business is to not pay them for a reprehensible product. On the other hand, I could have given them a chance to make new food for me, but sampling two plates as well as a small bite of Tag's food convinced me that remaking the food wouldn't help at all. We paid the whole bill and they've lost a large family of customers.
It'll be nice to quit eating out again. We got our things this past Monday but it's in enough disarray that we havn't had time/energy/forethought enough to make that first big shopping trip. Besides, disposable is a better alternative than glop with a chaser of Pepto. Next time I'll make my own Reuben and leave a generous tip for the chef.
(btw, our internet connection is currently borrowed from a kind neighbor with wireless. No, we're not stealing. We'll be back in business later this week, when I'll post pictures and a trip summary.)
Wednesday, April 01, 2009
update
We're here! We're alive! We have a house! But no internet yet so you'll just have to wait on a real update...
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